Qfeast Killahz

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A swarm of bees was leaving Cheeber's brain as his eyes slowly cracked open. He moved toward consciousness from a haunted obsoleteness that still lingered in the air. His limbs felt tied down to the floor, weak and numb; "Where am I?" He wondered, gasping for oxygen through capsized breaths. Any memory of getting here had faded into the unknown like lost media and the few things he could recall were —an attack—a bear—some kind of—

Then, a voice exploded over the intercoms: "Hello, Qfeasters!" It was screechy and sharp, drawing blood from the ears of its victims (Who was anyone who had to listen to it). Cheeber's eyes swam around the velvet storage closet he half-recognized from a few minutes ago when he woke up a second time (Obviously to no avail). The smoke clouding his vision was still prominent, but his confusion was quenched by another shrill echo.

"Welcome to the 25th annual Hunger Games!"

Cheeber bit his lip, looking for others. A similarly sized body was lying face down in a mop bucket, and he crawled closer to them in fear.

"I'm Yuzukuma-"

They had blonde hair and seemed very much alive, which is what he needed to calm him down.

"Everyone please meet in the gym! I have very important information I'm sure you'll all love to know! Until then, I'm going to talk about FNAF lore."

The voice over the intercom —Yuzukuma?— started talking about whatever the bite of '87 was. Cheeber pulled the blonde person's face out of the bucket and started shaking them awake. They mumbled something about being in a McDonald's bathroom before snapping to attention. Cheeber wasn't prepared for that. "Wha- where the hell am I oh god oh fuckk holy shit who are you?!!" They yelled in a panic, and Cheeber wished he could tell them. "I'm not sure..."

They helped each other onto their feet, trying to get a feel of the situation, which was a bit hard given that Cheeber had a headache like a hungover frat boy. "Ugh..." He rubbed his eyes, trying his best to get some bearings. 'Oh yea- the gym,' he thought- after which he took a deep breath and turned to the other. "I'm not sure who it was, but someone told us to go to the gym." He didn't gain a response but there was no point in waiting, he supposed.

They pushed open the closet door and hobbled out like pirates who just had their peg leg cards revoked. Finding the gym was easy; Signs hung from the hallway's ceiling and beckoned one another to an indoor courtroom that smelled like gym socks and axe cologne. There were 6 other people who vaguely reminded Cheeb of classmates from a time he couldn't remember (Even though they were all different ages between 13-17). White fully enclosed the color of their eyes as they stared, shaken to the core, at the auditorium stage, hosting a large monochrome bear.

"You guys should get to know each other I'll be back in like, 20 minutes." It waved anticlimactically and pooped into a puff of smoke. Even those who were not interested in whatever it had in store for them were upset by the suddenness of its disappearance

Cheeber approached the tallest student, CatBoyDave, standing at 9 feet 6 inches, and asked him what was going on.

"Boku no namae ha- [I'm CatBoyDave or Dave for short. I believe in justice, equality, and most of all, you, because you're great and I know you will achieve great things. I tend to double my ii's and show up out of nowhere like a mysterious drifter. My bedtime is not  6 o'clock and I'm particularly fond of cats, especially kittens. They are cute, and that is an inarguable fact."

CATBOYDAVE: Ultimate Homestuck kinnie

Cheeber nodded and introduced himself as well, but he was not any closer to figuring out what the fucc was going on.

This time, a girl, about 17 and unshowered, ran up to him in a cold sweat. "HELLO!" She screamed like a rabbit with it's leg caught in a wolf's mouth.

"Hi who are you?" Cheeber looked awestruck.

"WATASHI HA- [I am Yiffart and I am looking for my rats —my rats— my fuckiing *babies*— have you seen my rats? What did that fuckiing bear do to my rats!?]"

YIFFART2: Ultimate yiff artist

"Nope sorry, I hope you find them though," her friend put a hand on her shoulder and rolled it in soothing circles; Then, naturally curious, Cheeber asked for their name too.

"I'm Propaganda and I speak English unlike these weebs- oh and also German. I'm just a goofy lil lesbian who'll help you along your adventure- or maybe show u sum cool fishies. My dream is to be a clown and that's all you need to know."

PROPAGANDA: Ultimate clown

"Is your friend gonna be okay?" Cheeber watched Yiffart bang their knees on the maple wood flooring and let out a squelch that was nearly the start of a war cry.

"Don't ask me," they heeded, waving the others over.

"This is-"

"I'm Brea and I play guitar, saxophone, piano, and my David-Bowie-moaning-relaxation-cd. I literally play that all the time on my vintage record player. Also, I enjoy songwriting though it's hard to come up with lyrics when I'm not in a bad mood so my music mostly revolves around a variety of hyper obscure facts about my two greatest idols."

ELTONITE / BREA: Ultimate lyricist

"And that's-"

"Chiba, I'm the one who has a new interest every week and right now my fixation is Star. I also play webkinz every day and see Rowlf from the Muppets as my father. Please excuse any small obsessions I have (Jk don't bc I don't care and if you don't like me, that's an iss-you not an iss-me)"

MKDMLUCOAISMYWIFE420 / DOWOGAMI / CHIBA / JUL / LUCOA'S WIFE / UBOA'S WIFE / YIFFÝ: Ultimate babyfur

"Imma just shut up and let these intros play out-"

"My name is Damien but many of you know me as Estella's wife so just call me that I guess-" Estella's wife paused and started fantasizing about her big tiddy goff wife who she was having gay $ë× with every day.

SOUTHPARKESTELLAISMYWIFE420 / DAMIEN: Ultimate Estella simp

Propaganda took a deep breath and turned to Cheeber with a face that read "remember that." The ultimate Rock Lee simp bobbed his head courteously, and then looked at the last person left who was the one he came in with. "Excuse me, who are, who are you?"

"Sam," they said shortly.

WHORRIFIC / SAM / SAMMIE: Ultimate Qfeaster

Then all of a sudden, that *bear fuckker* reappeared on stage.

"Hoo hoo hoo, aren't you glad we got to know each other a little more? Now, for my turn!" Oh lord here we go.

"For those who didn't catch on, my name is Yuzukuma, the school principal, which means you all have to do what I say!!!"

Everyone collectively rolled their eyes. Then, Chiba spoke up, "Bro you're like, our age. And you're a bear. And a plushie."

Yuzukuma gave Chiba a caustic look. "That is besides the point; You're all at my mercy."

Brea leaned over to Estella's wife. "Yo this thing is fuckiin' annoying," she whispered. Yuzukuma didn't seem to notice.

"Now then, you're probably wondering why you're all here. That's because I have something very special for you today," it giggled "Something verrrrry speci-"

"Oh my god just get to the point!" Chiba yelled.

"OK FINE. You guys have to kill each other. "

...

Confused silence.

...

"Hey I read a fanfic like this once," Propaganda laughed, musing at the stage lights,  "Oh wait are you being serious?"

"Of course I'm being serious you goddamn literal clown. If you want to get out of here you need to kill someone!!" Yuzukuma shook its head, "I would never lie about this sort of thing."

"Yeah but-"

"CLOWN, IF YOU TALK AGAIN I WILL MAKE ALL OF YOUR HOLES BLEED."

Propaganda did not talk again.

"Ok now everyone shut up so I can monologue. I'm the boss and y'all gotta kill each other. If you can kill someone and get away with it good for you, you get to leave. If you don't kill someone, you're gonna be here until you die of the flu because you missed your vaccination. Any questions?"

"Are you serious??" Brea asked.

"For fvcks s- Yes."

"What happens if you get caught?"

"Yes."

Yuzukuma cleared its throat. "Now that we have the rules settled, let's clear a few other things. In your pockets you'll find a pair of keys leading to your dorms and an e-handbook that'll give you all the sexy knowledge you need. When it's 10pm the cafeteria closes and the water is shut off."

As a passionate water supporter, Sam couldn't bear to hear this. "Bro why does the water shut off? Why does that matter? WHAT IF I GET THIRSTY? Water is a human right why are turning it off? :("

"Because I said so. Alright good luck everyone!!" And with that, Yuzukuma disappeared.

Sam never got to know why the water shut off at night.

Cheeb gnashed his temples, biting the lower half of his lip until he felt keys in his pocket at the same time as everyone else. Surely none of these people would kill him, right? They were all innocent minors who got wrapped up in a bullshit battle royale promoted by an annoying stuffed animal too. Maybe they could go out for drinks and laugh about this sometime. Who was going to save them though??

To be continued...