Turtle just Turtle.

Deep Thoughts part 3. Cancer

Well, last few weeks have been "FUN" as i try and hide my feelings with a fake smile, but truth is that I can't do it anymore. I feel like i'm dying every time i see myself showing that grin. But Having that emotional barrier, has kept me sane even though at night i can't sleep until 5ish in the morning but I have to get up at 6:30 just to prepare myself for the day, prepping my fake smile so only some can see if they look in my eyes that i'm hurting. I'm just done. One day i'll crack but I'll try and stay the rock of all my friends, family and others who are suffering more then me 'cause a rock with a crack can still stay strong even if the rock crumbles to dust the dust will still support the person even if they can't really support them anymore.

Cancer, cancer, cancer. I can't stand having more family infected with cancer based illness, Mum had cells that could turn cancerous, she is okay now they were removed but i still worry for her. Uncle hospitalized due to cancer. My Godfather's sister has either 4 weeks or 4 months left to live with cancer in her spinal fluid. So I'm just done with hearing about cancer. if i am not allowed to see my uncle in his last moments (if it gets to that stage) like I wasn't allowed with my Grandma(Nan), I know i just be broken. My dog is soon reaching her death age, I can feel every time i see her and she isn't eating as much, but she is very close to my heart the last gift i got from my other Nan and Pop on my mother's side.

My mind is breaking but i keep on standing, Just don't worry if i crumble and fall.
Because I won't be gone until I fully break, which will take time.

~DragonTale_Sans