Lucid Dreams ~ A Klance Drabble

Lucid Dreams

I still see your shadows in my room
Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you (oh)


"The next stop is Sheridan, Sheridan Station." The robotic female voice sounded over the subway system. Lance barely registered the words as an old 80s pop song blasted through his earbuds, effectively blocking any other sound.

He tapped his fingers to the beat idly, creating a rhythm upon his legs, unaware of the strange looks a couple people were giving him. Music was and always had been his calling. He had foolishly dreamed of making himself a name in the music industry when he was younger - only to wind up working at a grocery store as a cashier.

Lance watched as the metal subway doors slid open, reading the words that were painted on the white tiled wall of the station.

Sheridan.

He was about to space out again when he realized - this was his station. Lance bolted up out of the seat as the subway doors were moving closer, his face twisted into a determined frown as he ran onto the subway platform, the closing doors narrowly missing him.

The Cuban allowed himself an exhale of relief as he craned his neck for a brief second to watch the train leave for the next station, before pushing through the gaggle of people in order to make it to the stairs.


Easier said than done
I thought you were the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head


Upon exiting the station, Lance headed straight towards the crosswalk, the giant blue letters of the store across the street spelling out 'Voltron'. As he waited for the light to change, the twenty-four-year old caught sight of raven hair in the crowd on the other side. Lance felt his heart skip a beat as he scanned the group of people, hoping to both see and not see a glimpse of the hair again. When he found nothing, he allowed his heartbeat to return to normal as he shook his head. So what if it looked like a mullet? It could have been a girl with medium length hair - not to mention, dark hair wasn't all that uncommon.

Lance bounced on the balls of his feet impatiently, a spanish tune currently playing, as he checked the time on his phone.

12:47.

Quiznak. He was seventeen minutes late for his shift. Allura would not be pleased with him.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lights changed to green and the red hand switched to a person walked, illuminated by a white light. Lance practically ran across the street before bursting into the store, taking out his earbuds and frantically searching for Allura, his head whipping from side to side. He found her smiling brightly at an eldery woman, holding out a plastic bag. Lance felt himself melt a little - Allura was beautiful, no doubt, but way out of his league.

He was snapped out of his trance by a flurry of long blonde hair nearly whipping him in the face.

"You're late!" the young woman scolded, hand on her hip.


You found another one, but
I am the better one
I won't let you forget me


"Romelle, it's my job to yell at him, not yours," Allura said from behind the cash register, amusement laced in her tone, before stepping out to gently kiss the girl on the cheek.

Oh right. Then there was the fact that she had a girlfriend as well.

"Sorry," was Lance's sheepish reply, his hand going to scratch the back of his neck, "I slept through my alarm."

Allura raised a thin eyebrow at this. "Lance, you do realize it's the afternoon...?"

"What can I say? A man needs his beauty sleep." Cue dashing smile and finger gun under the chin.

The white haired beauty let out a small chuckle, rolling her eyes as she entwined her dark, slender fingers with Romelle's fair ones.

"Well, we're off to lunch. It's only you in today - except for Coran, but he's out in the back. Ring for him if you need assistance. It hasn't been very busy today, so I trust that you'll be okay. Remember, if a customer tries to attack you - "

"Relax, Princess, I know the drill. Now go enjoy your date." Lance flashed a sly grin before physically pushing Allura and Romelle out the back door. "But don't forget to change out of work uniform! These clothes are so tacky!"


I still see your shadows in my room
Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you (oh)


Once he had successfully shooed the couple away, Lance headed to the back room in order to change into the faded blue shirt that had 'Voltron' painted on the top right side, right above his nametag, and dusty brown jeans. He made his way back to the only open cash register and waited for the small bunch of people to finish their searching for items and come to pay.

He smiled at every customer, making sure to remain as friendly and enthusiastic as possible, while still scanning the items quickly. Every now and then, he'd strike up a small conversation with those who were buying many things, never losing his positive demeanour.

Lance was pleasantly surprised when near the end of his shift,  Shay, the girlfriend of his best friend, Hunk, placed an overflowing metal carrying cart upon the mini conveyor belt, slightly out of breath. She brightened up immediately upon seeing him and began unloading all her items.

"Hunk sent you to go shopping?" Lance noted amusedly, sliding a bag of frozen peas across the scanner.

"Yep," Shay leaned against the countertop, cheek resting on her fist. "He's preparing a lovely dinner tonight, I'm assuming, though I'm not quite sure of the occasion."

"Maybe he just wants to be romantic. You know Hunk is a huge softie." Lance offered, refusing to make eye contact with the girl. He pretended to be busy stuffing items into plastic bags so she wouldn't suspect anything.

After all, there was no way he could ruin his best bud's surprise. It's not everyday you get a proposal.


Easier said than done
I thought you were the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head


"Annnnddd your total is $48.90. Cash or credit?"

"Like you even have to ask," Shay scoffed, already typing her PIN number. She took the bags with a tired grin, waving as she walked away.

"Bye Shay!" Lance called after her, smiling to himself. He could only imagine the look of joyous surprise on her face when she found out Hunk's intentions.

They had been together for around five years now. They were a very balanced and sweet couple - they rarely fought, and when they did, it was always resolved in a matter of a few days. Both were completely smitten with the other. Lance wanted something like that.

With those bittersweet thoughts in mind, he turned his attention back to the front - and promptly froze.

The person standing about five feet away was staring at him with mirrored shock.

Lance swallowed.

Keith.


You found another one, but
I am the better one
I won't let you forget me


Lance watched the blood drain from Keith's pale face, making him seem sickly. He watched those alluring seemingly-violet eyes frantically scan the aisles, looking for another open cash register. He watched those same eyes harden in resignation and caution before Keith took a step forward.

Lance hated the way he could read the boy so easily. He hated the way Keith stared at him with obvious hesitation, unsure whether to approach him or not.

Most of all, he hated the way his heart began to beat faster as Keith grew closer.


You left me falling and landing inside my grave
I know that you want me dead
I take prescriptions to make me feel a-okay
I know it's all in my head


The silence was suffocating, as Lance slowly scanned the few items, blatantly staring at the beautiful boy in front of him. His hair was still the same. Though Lance had always made fun of it, both he and Keith knew that he actually loved it. Somehow, it was always soft, and the boy never took care of it!

Lance didn't want to look away, but he felt slightly queasy. Was this a dream? Some sort of sick joke?

Keith was refusing to look him in the eye. Lance didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt.

"Your total is $11.50," Lance said softly, scared that if he spoke too loud, Keith would disappear.

Said boy held out a $20 bill, still looking anywhere but Lance. Lance hated the way his own breath hitched when he briefly brushed Keith's hand to take the money. He didn't miss the small flinch from him.

Lance took his time sorting through the various coins and bills, searching for change. Why was he doing this? The faster he found the correct amount, the sooner he could get out of this awkward situation.

"Here's your change," Lance said, sliding the box in the register shut, dropping the $5 bill and coins into Keith's open palm. "Thank you for coming to Voltron, and have a nice day."

Keith nodded stiffly before grabbing his single bag and sharply turning on his heel.


I have these lucid dreams where I can't move a thing
Thinking of you in my bed
You were my everything
Thoughts of a wedding ring
Now I'm just better off dead


Lance didn't know why he did it.

He acted on impulse, something he's been told by his friends never to do, since it notoriously always ended with him in trouble.

So why the Quiznak did he ignore all the warnings and grab Keith's wrist?

"Wait."

He hated how small he sounded. He hated how his voice cracked upon saying that single word. He hated how Keith's confused gaze switched to slight pity.

Keith looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak again.

Lance silently thanked him for not snatching his wrist out of his grip.

"Are...do...do you have somewhere to be right now?"

Keith raised a thick eyebrow, apprehension evident in both his tone and on his face. "No."

"Would you...would you like to maybe...I don't know...come with me to the Black Lion...? I mean, you don't have to, but I just thought it'd be nice, well maybe not nice, in fact it may be a little awkward, but we haven't seen each other in a while and I just really want to clear the air and - "

"Lance," Keith said with that pout that Lance knew meant he was hiding a smile, "I'm free."

"Oh...okay...that's...that's good..."

Lance wanted to smack himself for rambling so much earlier. Why was he such a stuttering mess? Thank goodness Keith hadn't commented on it - he would have willingly crawled into a hole and died.

He was starting to regret his decision to ask Keith to go to the coffeeshop. They both knew it was as acquaintances and nothing more, but that didn't stop Lance from sweating nervously.

However, he knew that it was his only chance to clear the air with Keith. This could be the last time he saw him - and Lance wasn't ready to let go. He wasn't ready to face the reality that he may never have Keith in his life again.

"Don't you have to work?" Lance's thoughts were interrupted by Keith's voice.

"What?" Lance blankly stared before coming to his senses. "Oh, no, my shift is almost over. Coran should be here soon."

Not a moment too soon, Coran came out from the back, staring suspiciously at Keith, and sending a questioning look towards Lance. The Cuban shook his head, signalling that it was not the time to ask questions. The older man gave him a sad but understanding smile.


I'll do it over again
I didn't want it to end
I watch it blow in the wind


When Lance re-emerged, he was surprised to see Keith still there, waiting for him.

"Awh, you waited for me, Mullet?"

The words were out before he could stop them. Though he was aiming for teasing, they came out a little more tenderly than he wanted. He could tell Keith felt similarly, by the way he stiffened. Lance wished he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

The rest of the way to The Black Lion was endured in silence, neither daring to speak first. Lance feared he had already messed up his chance to reconcile with Keith.

They entered the cozy coffeeshop, sliding into an open booth. Lance fiddled with his fingers underneath the table, racking his brain desperately for something to say - anything.

"Sooooo how have you been?" Lance asked quietly, lifting his gaze to meet Keith's. His heart went into overdrive; it had been slightly windy, and now his raven locks were messy and framing his face perfectly. Lance felt as though he could stare into those eyes forever.

Keith didn't reply. He simply clasped his hands, placing them on the table, and leaned forward, giving Lance a mini panic attack. His dark eyes examined Lance's face, as if searching for answers.

"Why did you want to come here?"

Lance went on the defensive, which meant humour. "I like coffee."

Keith's expression remained unamused. "You know what I mean."


I should've listened to my friends
Did this shit in the past
But I want it to last
You were made outta plastic (fake)


Lance's gaze flit downwards. He couldn't face Keith while saying aloud what he hadn't wanted to admit to himself for a while now. How would Keith react?

"I just wanted to catch up," Lance mumbled, keeping his blue eyes trained on the wooden table. He lifted his hands and began to trace the various cuts and pen marking on the worn table as he spoke. "We haven't...we haven't talked in a while. Scratch that, we haven't even seen each other."

There was silence for a bit. It was too long for Lance. He felt his anxiety begin to increase, along with all the other doubting thoughts he had earlier. It was stupid for him to assume he and Keith would begin talking like old buddies again.

"We both know the reason for that." Keith said gently. Lance despised that tone. He didn't want Keith's pity. He just wanted to speak as equals. So, he lifted his gaze to meet Keith's own apologetic one.

He didn't trust his voice at this moment. Seeing Keith after a dramatic breakup - it was too much for him right now.

"I just thought it would be smart to clear the air," Lance practically whispered, maintaining eye contact with the young man seated in front of him.

There. He'd said it. What he'd wanted for a while now - to just talk to Keith. Ask, why didn't it work? Why didn't we work? What did I do wrong?


I was tangled up in your drastic ways
Who knew evil girls have the prettiest face?
You gave me a heart that was full of mistakes
I gave you my heart and you made heart break


He watched as Keith tensed once again. He seemed to be doing that a lot around Lance. He couldn't blame him.

"Let's get some coffee first." Keith said abruptly, his eyes darting around the shop. Lance recognized this as a gesture he did when he was nervous.

"No." Lance was surprised at how firm his tone was. Keith was as well, eyes snapping back towards his ex. "No more stalling. Don't run away from me again, Keith."

Lance half regretted his words. He felt sorry because he saw the hurt flash through Keith's eyes. However, he wanted answers, and he knew the only way he was going to get them was by remaining strong.  So he didn't apologize or back down. He waited. Waited for Keith to speak. Waited for the truth.

"It wasn't like that..." were the first words out of his mouth. Keith sounded desperate for Lance to understand, his eyes apologetic and frantic, with undertones of pain.


You made my heart break
You made my heart ache (I still see your shadows in my room)
You made my heart break
You made my heart ache (can't take back the love that I gave you)


"It was exactly like that!" Lance raised his voice, ignoring the onlookers and Keith's anxious gaze fixated on the crowd. "You thought I wouldn't have any questions if you broke up with me? It was you! And you never told me why! You just...you just left me!"

Keith looked as though he had been shot. "You don't think it was difficult for me? I wanted - "

"But that's the thing, it wasn't. It wasn't difficult for you at all. You never cared, you never said that you loved me, you never loved me and I despise the fact that -"

"Don't you dare say that."

Lance found himself glaring through blurred vision at Keith's furious face. His thick eyebrows were knit together, mouth twisted into a frown as he delivered the words in a deadly calm voice. "Don't you ever fücking say that I didn't love you. I did, Lance, I loved you."

"Well you sure as hell didn't act like it." Lance growled, tears sliding down his cheek.

They sat in awkward silence, Lance's final words hanging in the air. Lance just wanted to go back to his shared apartment and cry in peace. He didn't like the looks of sympathy people were sending him. It wasn't their business.

Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer. Lance rose and began to walk away. "Whatever, I'm going home."


You made my heart break (were made outta plastic, fake)
You made my heart ache (I still see your shadows in my room)
You made my heart break again (I was tangled up your drastic ways)
(Who knew evil girls have the prettiest face?)


"Remember how I told you my father left me when I was four years old?" Keith's voice cut through the air hesitantly, causing Lance to halt. Lance didn't respond; he let Keith know he was listening by not moving an inch. "I grew up in many foster homes, Lance. I never had a family. And I know you wanted one - a loving family. And that scared me. Because I knew I couldn't give that to you."

Lance saw red. He was beyond furious at this point. Here he was, still in love with this stupid mullet who he hadn't spoken to in months, and Keith was telling him that he had broken up with him because he was scared of not being enough.

He turned around, still standing, glaring at the small figure. He was shaking with anger.

"Yes, I wanted a loving family. But you know what I also wanted? Even more than a family in the future? You, Keith. And that's what I lost." Lance's voice broke on his last sentence. He silently dared Keith to contradict him, tell him that he was wrong.

Keith seemed genuinely apologetic before that gave way to anger, as it usually did with him. "Don't blame this all on me. I wasn't ready! You were throwing all your feelings and expectations at me. You wanted a fairytale happy ending, and I couldn't give that you, Lance."

"So you're calling me clingy?" Lance seethed, clenching his fists.

"Maybe I am!" Keith yelled.

Lance rose his voice to match Keith's volume. "Oh, yeah? Well you were emotionally detached!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Keith deflated, placing his head in his hands. All the fight was out of him. "I know that. And I'm sorry. I wasn't good with feelings or words."


I still see your shadows in my room
Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you (oh)


Lance wanted to stay mad. He really did. But again, he still loved Keith. He knew he wasn't really angry - just hurt.

He placed a tentative hand on Keith's shoulder, seeing how the raven haired man flinched, then relaxed in a few seconds. Lance watched him breathe for a while, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry too." Lance eventually said. "I knew that love was a sensitive topic for you - I pushed too hard. I shouldn't have done that."

Lance bit his lip anxiously, shifting his gaze to the floor. He had gotten the answers he wanted, and he wasn't quite sure how to feel about them. Now, the man he had been in love with for years was sitting near him, the both of them having come clean to the other. Lance didn't know what he was supposed to do now.

Suddenly, he felt a small tremor from where his hand was resting. He looked up in confusion, and watched Keith's frame shake gently.

"Are you...laughing?" Lance asked incredulously.

Keith nodded, raising his head to reveal a small smile. "I'm sorry...it's just, we were both in the wrong. I'm sorry I ran away rather than just talking to you about how I felt."

Lance grinned mischievously. "Ah, but that wouldn't be a very Keith thing to do."

"Shut up."

They both chuckled, eyes catching each other from across the table.


Easier said than done
I thought you were the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head


Lance was the first to look away. He had felt the familiar heat begin to creep up his neck, and though not entirely unwelcome, he knew it would be difficult to explain to Keith that he had never lost his feelings. He slid back into the booth across from Keith, leaning against the cushioned back.

"You never answered my questions. How have things been?"

Keith hummed for a split second. Lance noticed how he sucked his bottom lip in as he thought.  Lance remembered what those lips felt like. He quickly snapped his gaze back up to Keith's face before said boy noticed, face feeling oddly warm.

"Actually pretty well."

Lance didn't know why his heart sank at that. He should be happy for Keith. What was the problem with Keith doing well? What, was he expecting Keith wouldn't be able to move on from him and wallow in heartbreak and self pity forever?

Like you?  A small voice in his mind questioned, betraying him.

Shut up.

"I got a job at a repair workshop," Keith continued, apparently unaware of Lance's inner turmoil. "Managed to fix my own bike. It's a pretty good job. The pay is decent, but the mechanics is what I like best. Pidge drops by from time to time."

Lance nodded, only half listening. Did Keith currently have a boyfriend? His stomach began to churn at that thought. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that thought.

" - and Shiro's still on his honeymoon with Adam, they're in Hawaii. My life hasn't been all that interesting, and I think that was good for me. I'm pretty sure I needed time to just calm down and mature." Keith concluded, a stupidly cute thoughtful expression etched onto his face. His gaze suddenly snapped to Lance, catching the poor boy off guard. "What's new with you?"


You found another one, but
I am the better one
I won't let you forget me


Lance swallowed nervously. "Uh, well I'm a cashier now - "

"Yeah, what's with that?" Keith narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to the side. "You were so passionate about music. You used to sing all the time."

"I lost my muse." Lance said quietly, blue eyes downcast. He heard Keith's breath hitch, and he imagined the look of horror painted on his face.

"Oh..." came the long, awkward, breathed out reply.

Lance felt bad. Keith hadn't meant to make it awkward - he had asked a seemingly innocent question.

"Yeah, but I still play the guitar every now and then," Lance added hurriedly in an effort to keep the conversation going. He wanted to talk longer. He wasn't sure he was ready to let Keith go. "But enough about my interests. You still like to draw?"

Lance watched in satisfaction as Keith's dark eyes lit up. He began to talk a mile a minute, hands moving animatedly every now and then to help get his point across. Lance grew distracted when the bell rang, signalling a new customer. A tall man dressed in casual attire with short brown hair that fell over his eyes walked in, motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm. Lance grew confused when he started to make his way towards them.

"Uh...Keith? Sorry to interrupt, but do you know who that it?"


I still see your shadows in my room
Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you (oh)


Keith's furrowed his eyebrows and turned around. Lance couldn't see his facial expression at the moment, but he could see it very well when Keith turned back towards him, the man now standing in front of their table. Lance watched on in mixed horror and confusion as Keith smiled at the man, then stood up to hug, no -

Keith kissed him. The strange man.

Lance felt any hope of reconstructing a relationship crumble as his heart clenched inside his chest. He could only continue to stare blankly at the scene that was unfolding in front of him, feeling numb.

Keith broke away first. He had a lovesick grin on his face. Lance would know. Keith used to look at him like that.

It seemed like Keith had just noticed Lance was still sitting there, as his eyes widening, his hand going to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Uh, Lance, this is James, my boyfriend."

The words 'boyfriend' rang in Lance's ears. He felt sick.

"Lance?" The man who was supposedly named James narrowed his eyes. "As the infamous, your ex, Lance that Pidge always speaks about?"

Lance felt the need to speak up. The boy looked like he would be able to kick his butt in a fight no problem. "Don't worry, we were just catching up."

James pursed his lips. "I see."


Easier said than done
I thought you were the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head


Lance continued to stare blatantly, unsure of what to say. His brain was still short circuiting and trying to process everything he had just witnessed.

"Uh...Lance? You okay?" Lance hated how Keith sounded so concerned. It wasn't fair for him to have that stupidly adorable pout and not expect anybody to fall in love with it.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!" Lance lied, barking out a loud laugh. He forced an enthusiastic smile on his face and tried his best to sound genuinely happy. "Congrats, you guys. I'm happy for you."

Keith shared a smile with James at this, oblivious to Lance's pain.

Lance desperately wished Keith would smile like that at him again; but he knew this wish was in vain.

"Anyway, I came to get you because we're going to be late for dinner with Ryan." James said, lifting up his helmet. "I know you took the subway here, so your helmet is on top of my bike."

Keith nodded. "Go ahead, I'll meet you outside."

James looked at Lance doubtfully before kissing Keith on the cheek and strutting away, placing his helmet on his head as he left.


You found another one, but
I am the better one
I won't let you forget me


Keith faced Lance once again, lovesick grin still on his face. "Hey, would it be cool if we met up again sometime? Except with a little less yelling?"

Lance allowed a small smile to grace his lips. He couldn't help it when he was with Keith. "Yeah. That'd be cool."

Keith's grin widened before he whipped a pen out of his pocket and began to write on the napkin beside him. He handed it to the Cuban, and Lance recognized the numbers he had deleted from his phone months ago. "Text me sometime."

Keith was about to leave, before he turned around, looking at Lance. "Friends?" He asked hopefully, sticking out his fist.

Lance stared at the fist in front of him, wheels turning in his brain. He could either have Keith in his life as a friend, or not at all. He weighed the pros and cons of each in his mind. In the end, he knew not having Keith in his life would allow him to get over him faster, but when it came to Keith - Lance was weak. He grinned and raised his own fist to bump Keith's. "Friends."


Did this shit in the past but I want it to last
You were made outta plastic (fake)
I was tangled up in your drastic ways
Who knew evil girls have the prettiest face?


Keith gave a little salute then rushed out of the coffeeshop to join his boyfriend. Lance watched through the window as Keith tied his hair in the signature ponytail that Lance loved so much before placing his own helmet over his head. He climbed onto the motorcycle behind James, leaning forward with his arms wrapped around his waist - and then Lance could no longer see them.

He sighed, staring down at his lap.

The thought of Keith loving someone other than him didn't really sit well. Lance had always thought that Keith was the one for him. There was never a single doubt in his mind, not even when Keith had broken up with him.

Maybe that was his problem. Lance loved too much.

Lance sighed as he stood, exiting The Black Lion, sticking his earbuds in before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Keith was happy now. And now matter how much Lance desperately wished he could place his lips against Keith's once last time, he knew it was all in the past.

And all that mattered to Lance was Keith's happiness.


Easier said than done
I thought you were
(Instead of my head, you found another)
I won't let you forget me