The Boarding School

-4-

I just watch as Ashley starts talking to dad.
"Maddie fought today" She says. I get up and walk over to dad.
"It wasn't my fault!" I argue.
"What happened?" Dad asks.
"Maddie threw someone against a car and yelled at him" Ashley snitches.
"Dad, hear me out... It wasn't my fault! The guy almost hit me with his car!" I argue.
"Ashley, go upstairs, I'll handle this" Dad says. Ashley goes upstairs. Dad sighs.
"What really happened?" He asks.
"I was crossing the street and the guy almost hit me. So he stopped and I yelled at him. Then pushed him into his car... It wasn't my fault, I don't know what came over me." I say.
"I know you would've been scared, and a bit frustrated, but you shouldn't of went violent" Dad says calmly.
"I know. I'm sorry" I say quietly, hanging my head.
"Try to calm a little," He says, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I even took my meds today... Maybe they worn off. I don't know" I say.
"It's alright honey" He says and pulls me in for a hug.
"I have to do some extra work, okay? And Lisa will be home soon" Dad says, about to go upstairs. I grab his hand.
"Please don't tell Aunt Lisa about this?" I ask desperately.
"Okay" he says and goes upstairs to work on his laptop. I grab my backpack and go upstairs. I sit on my bed and start drawing in my sketchbook. I draw myself with flames in my eyes. Why? I don't quite know. Maybe cause I know I'm a bad person, maybe because, I know I'm angry and evil. I don't know. I draw weird things. Most people don't see my drawings. Drew for a bit and got bored.
I hear the front door open and close.
"I'm home!" Called Aunt Lisa.
I just ignore and put on headphones and listen to music. I just listen to music and read at the same time. Dad knocked on my door. I didn't hear it. He slowly opens the door and I take off my headphones and look up.
"Dinner" Dad says. I follow him downstairs and sit at the table. Aunt Lisa sets plates of pasta down for everyone.
"How was your day at school girls?" Aunt Lisa asks.
"It was fine" I say.
"Madd-" Ashley started to say, but I kicked her shin so she wouldn't snitch on me.
"I mean, school was good" Ashley says. Dinner was mostly quiet, no one really said anything. Ashley talked about her great grades at school, and dad talked a bit about work. Dad is smart, he works as a business man in a big company. I forget what it's called. Anyways, we finish dinner.
"Can you pack my lunch for school tomorrow?" I ask aunt Lisa politely.
"No, do it yourself" She says and goes into the basement to do laundry. I really think Aunt Lisa dislikes me, she hasn't been nice to me lately, like she's only started to dislike me recently.
I don't know why. Maybe she just doesn't like my disorder outbursts and maybe because dad and I won't let her send me to the boarding school. I really think she's plotting a way to send me there. I think she just wants me out of the house so she doesn't have to deal with me, even though she doesn't do much with me and we barely talk unless we're doing something as a family. I play video games till it's bed time. I go upstairs and get ready for bed. Aunt Lisa walks into my room when I was reading. I want to finish this chapter before going to sleep. Reading the book "Maximum ride" it's pretty good.
"Have you changed your mind about the boarding school?" She asks.
"No. I want to stay here. I don't like school much, living at a school is out of the question" I say firmly.
"How's school been going?" She asks.
"Fine" I say. She grumps and leaves the room, going downstairs. I finish reading the chapter of my book and go to sleep.
I wake up by my alarm. I moan and hit snooze a few times, then finally got up. Every morning is usually the same, I press snooze a few times, get up, shower, brush my hair and teeth, get dressed,  don't take my meds, this morning I did. make lunch, skip breakfast, walk to school without Ashley. That's how most mornings go. Typically the same.
I leave for school.  I start walking to school, without Ashley. If I want to walk without her I leave early.
"Your not going to get mad today, you are not going to yell or fight" I keep saying to myself. I don't know if this is a promise I can keep, but I'll try. I get to school and sit on the floor till the bell rings. Ashley walks past me, but stops to talk first.
"Try to stay calm today" She says, I nod and she keeps walking. The bell rings. I stand up and enter class. I was mostly calm through first class, trying to tolerate Devon. The morning was okay for me, I didn't get mad or grumpy, I didn't yell. Lunch came, I sat own my own, by myself. It was lonely, but I was calm.
Through the whole school day I was calm, which is a great thing. I did take my meds today, so that probably helped. Maybe tomorrow I can try going through a whole school day staying calm, quiet, and stress-free without my meds. But I don't know if that's a good idea or not. But maybe its worth a short, and if I do get mad, then I will take my medication. But I want to see if I can actually be a some-what normal person. I walked home with Ashley, she didn't make me mad, she was annoying, and talking the whole time, but I wasn't mad at her. Even when we got home, and Aunt Lisa greeted us, she didn't make me mad. Today is going good so far.