The stairs...

The stairs...

Hi, this is my first story and since I love horror I decided to make is story. I hope you enjoy and comment what I can do to make any story's in the future. Also please don't be mean about what I did wrong. Enjoy!

published on September 25, 2016not completed

Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Brooklyn, Brooklyn's boyfriend Jeremiah, and their friends: Jake, James, Christine, Christian, Abigail, Abby, and Lily were looking through the woods. All of a sudden Abby tripped over a handle to some kind of trapdoor. "Ahhhhh!" Abby screamed as she fell. The group stopped and James asked "Abby are you alright?". " Yea I just tripped" Abby awnsered back. Christian came over and kicked at the dirt. "It looks like some sort of handle to a trapdoor or someing like that" said Christian. Jeremiah said " AWESOME! We should check it out!!!!!!. "Ummm you gys can I'll wait up here" said Brooklyn. "Come on it will be fun!" said Jeremiah. "Alright I guess it will." said Brooklyn. "That what I'm talking about!!!!" Said Jake. As Jake opened the door cool air rushed out. They all went in one by one. "I don't think this is a very good idea" said Lily. "We should leave its so dark in here" Shouted Brooklyn. "No I have a flashlight" said James. James took the flashlight out and flicked it on. "There its light" said James. As each of them got down the stairs, the flashlight flickered and turned off. They heard a voice whisper "hungry mommy I'm hungry". They heard another voice say "I know honey we all are". They all screamed and ran up the stairs but the stairs turned to dust...



                                                                                                                     TO BE CONTINUE

                                                                                              (Write in comments if I should finish the story)
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Comments (2)

I think the idea is really good and you should continue the story. However, try to avoid using too many names, as it can be confusing. Try to reduce the amount of people in your story and focus more on the personality / character development of the protagonists. :)
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@erudite_nessie Thanks for the feedback and I'll make sure to make the next story with less names. :D
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on October 01, 2016
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on September 26, 2016