Regretting The Chances

Chapter 15 New Boy?

<<<AJ's P.O.V.>>>
"Logan?" I gasped, and scooted away. I sorta had a crush on him. Well, I did in middle school. Okay, so I kinda still did. Okay, okay, I really really liked him. And he was the bad-boy type! But that wasn't the point! He was showing affection to me! This was new!
"Hey, calm down. Are you okay?" He patted the ground next to him, and I wiggled back over to him.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I shrugged nonchalantly.
"Are you sure?" He slung his arm around me, and I kinda flinched. But I slowly relaxed my tensed muscles and allowed myself to melt into his arms.
"Ugh. No. Life sucks. I'm living in an apartment with Ashley. And she quit her job, and I can't pay for the house myself! I'm a new volunteer! I won't make enough... Ugh!"
"Oh. Well, if you ever need a place to stay..." He moved his arms in a small circle towards himself as if to say, ...you can always come to me.
"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." I winked at him, and got up, stretching. "Well, I'd best be off."
"Sure that you'll be okay over there? If you and Ashley had and argument..."
"Oh, me and Ash have arguments all the time! I'll be fine." Honestly, I felt touched. He was making sure I was okay, making sure I'd be okay, and offering me a sanctuary if things were not okay. Girls dream. I thought.
"Alright. If you're sure..."
"I'm sure." And with that, I skipped off, feeling happy as could be. Ironically, as soon as I encountered the house, I ran up and burst through the door excitedly. "Ashley! Ashley!!!"
"What?" She came running out of her room, questions written all over her face.
"Logan! It.... He... Omg, Ash, I think he's in love with me! And I am to, but, really! I think I found my lover!"
"Awe.... Logie Bear!!!"
"Oh, would you shut up? Come on!!! I have an admirer! And he's cute, nice, and he loves me!!!" And then I launched into the tale that had unfolded before me. Ashley nodded, trying to follow along with my fast moving speech. When finished, she gawked at me.
"And you didn't go over to his house!?!?"
"Uh.... No."
"Wow. Just wow. You should've!"
"But.... But I didn't need to!"
"Ugh, you're still supposed to." She fired back, clearly exasperated.
"Oh." I answered, at a loss for words. Would he take offense? Would he be upset? Would this ruin our... Possible relationship? Did I do something that could ruin everything forever?
"Relax..." Ashley said, throwing a pillow at me. "It's not that bad."
"How'd you know I was worried?"
"Uh, you've been living with me for, like, ever. I know you like I know myself. Isn't it obvious? Duh."
"Oh. Yeah. But I'm not that obvious!"
"True," she consented. "Sometimes even I have trouble interpreting you."
I smiled. Good. Then, with a quick goodnight and hug, I went upstairs to my room. I laid down on my bed and took a deep breath. For the first time in a while, I didn't feel like cutting. I didn't feel the overwhelming urge to grab the scissors, position them over my hip, and tear it up as if it were tissue paper. I had done this since seventh grade. It was a second nature for me. I gently fingered the scars running down my hip. Maybe... Maybe I didn't need to do this. If I had Logan... I could survive. I could be...okay. Maybe, just maybe, he could provide the sanctuary I needed. One without scissors. One without depression.
But most of all,
One with me.