Right In Front of Me (Finished)

Chapter 24: Public Breakdown

I walk into school on Monday feeling a little gross still, but mostly fine. Greyson is directly by my side. He stops me and asks, "Are you sure you want to be here? I can turn right around and bring you home if you're not ready to face the school after-" I cut him off with a finger on his lips. I say, "I'm fine. Seriously. As long as we stick together today, we will be fine. I'm sure Hayden feels really weird about this, too." He nods, and we continue to walk, but he stops me again. I sigh, "What?" He looks at me. "What are we telling people if they ask what happened between you and Hayden?" He asks. I hadn't thought of that. "Uh, I don't know, that we, um, just had some differences we had to work out before we could continue to date."
He nods, nervously, and keeps walking. He seems more nervous than me, though that would be hard to do. I am extremely nervous. It took me forever to decide what to wear. I didn't want to dress really nice, because people would think that I was trying to get new guys, or that I was trying to make Hayden feel bad; like, 'look-what-you-could-have-had', which is not my intention. If I dressed really badly, then people would automatically assume that I am totally miserable without him. So Greyson finally had to tell me not to over-think it all. "What you choose to do does not revolve around what the school thinks. This is only about you and Hayden... ending things." He had said. I said back to that, "I know, but I just don't want word to spread to Hayden that I have already moved on two days later, or that I am miserable without him. I don't care what the rest of the school thinks; I just care about what people might tell him."
        I ended up just dressing casual, and for the wintertime, since it is officially winter. I hadn't noticed it before, but it is already December 18th. Winter break is in two days, though I don't know why we had to come to school just for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and then go home until January.
        We walk down the halls for about a minute without anyone starring, a short minute, though. Everyone stares at me as I make my way down the hall. The usual loud roar of the hall dies as all eyes focus in on me. I can barely deal with the stares, but some of them were dirty looks. I am blinking back tears when I hear someone whisper, "Is that her? The girl who dumped Hayden? What a dumbass, he is the hottest guy in school." Then her friend, who I thought I was friends with, named Marry, (Mahr-ee) whispers back, "I know! At least he stopped wasting his time on that slut; now he can date people with actual souls!" I walk faster, just wanting to get out of this whirlpool of whispers and hate and eyes following my every move; a whirlpool that is bound to either have me get sucked into all of their hate and have a breakdown in front of everyone, or just have me explode, yelling and crying. I walk faster and faster, Greyson trying to keep up with me, saying things, quietly, like, "Avalon, just calm down. Just... breathe. Don't let them get to you." He grabs my elbow, making me stop, and turn toward him I look at him as someone else whispers, "Look at her! That bitch is already after a new guy!" I just shake my head at him as if to say, 'I can't do this.' I turn and run down the hall, where less people are, and I run into the nearest bathroom. In here, not even Greyson can try and say something to me.
        I was wrong. He walks right on into the bathroom after me. I crumble in a corner on the floor. He stares at me as I cry into my sleeve. He shakes his head angrily and stomps out of the bathroom. The next thing I hear... is him yelling.
        "What is wrong with you people?!" He shouts, his voice angry, yet slightly high-pitched. I can hear the silence grow quieter as, undoubtedly, all attention belongs to Greyson. He says, "Seriously! How is any of this your business? It's really sad when your lives have to revolve around someone else's personal drama. You must have really boring lives if you have to gossip about someone else's. Leave Avalon alone! You don't know what she's going through right now! For all you know, she could be dying and have only a month to live, but you still have to criticize her about something so dumb that is none of your business. Don't you have other things to do? HUH?! Why don't you all go do the homework that I just know you didn't do. Or complain about more pointless shit in your own lives? At least then you aren't torturing someone else." Greyson hardly ever cusses, so it was weird to hear him say that. "What kind of friends to her are you? You call her fake, and yet, she never faked any friendships with any of you. If anyone here is fake, it's you people. You pretend to be her friend, and then when she does one little thing that bothers you, you have to make it all worse." Marry giggles, and Greyson says, "You have no excuse, Marry. You have pretended to be her friend, yet you just called her a slut. She has not been a slut at all; and she has not tried to get with a new guy since what happened." I tear runs down my cheek and I squeeze my eyes shut to keep more from escaping. Greyson is the best friend ever.
        He continues, "And I swear, if anyone else does anything to hurt her about this, you'll have me to deal with." I get up and stand at the entrance of the bathroom. A few seconds later, I hear another voice speak up. "And me." I adjust my glasses to see who it is. It's Hallie. She walks over to Greyson and stands at his side, wrapping her arm around his waist.
        Then Mason, Taylor, Lana, Jackson, Yolanda, and Mercedes all walk up closely together, and join Greyson and Hallie. They all put their arms around whoever is next to them, creating a giant chain of love and support for me. I can't believe what I am seeing. My friends are so amazing, that I can't help but to let a few more tears loose from my eyes. I smile a little. But then, someone I never would have expected to see join them, does. Diego. I don't know him too well, but he seems to care about me. And for that I am so grateful. He puts his arm around Mercedes, who seems to think he is attractive. She flirtatiously flings her arm around him.
        And then, the unthinkable happens. Hayden gets up, and puts his arm around Hallie. Everyone in the hallway seems to slowly return to their regular routine, knowing that they have been stopped, and that it is not worth fighting over. I know that in their minds they will still be thinking nasty things about me, and wishing that they could make them known by me, but at least they will not say them out loud. I join my group of amazing friends, and just let the tears out as they embrace me.

        In second period, we are supposed to give speeches about something that we felt was important, and we have been preparing for this assignment for a week or so. Thankfully, because the teacher is calling us in alphabetical order, and my last name being Starr, I will not get called today; and neither will Greyson, since we partnered up for this project. The teacher calls out, "Burkley!" And with that, Marry gets up, a smirk spread across her face. She holds a wad of note cards in her hands, and walks to the podium.
        She begins, "I was going to talk about global warming," she tosses her cards in the trash can behind her, "but I will instead address a much more pressing matter." Greyson and I share a look, then return our gazes to Marry. "Popularity. You see, most people believe that it is the key to happiness, or even just to... getting a boyfriend." Her evil glare burns directly into my soul, and I know that she is talking about me. "Girls in our society think that they need to be something that they are not, or dress a way that they normally wouldn't. I know this not from research, but from observation. I have seen way too many good people lost to the peer pressure and belief that it is what you need. There is, however, one... special case that I have watched quite closely. It is a girl who was a little nobody, but redid herself to the extent where she lost the entirety of her being, to this so-called happiness. She convinced herself that she was, and has been all along, who she had become. Everyone was wondering when she would realize that she wasn't fooling anyone but herself. And the funny, yet saddening part of it all is that the nobody she tried to escape from in the first place, was who she really was, and she ended becoming a bigger nothing than before, with more hatred than she could even realize. In the end, she was just the same, unwanted... nobody." She didn't remove her eyes from me. I looked at Greyson, back at Marry, at Greyson again. I just touched his hand before I fled the classroom.
        Greyson behind me, in the hallway, he asks, "What is wrong with that girl? And where are you going?" Still walking quickly in hopes of not being caught by my teacher, I say, "I don't know. I don't know, but what I do know is I need to leave." Greyson stops me simply by putting his hand on my shoulder and spinning me toward him. "Not without me, you're not. I'm your ride, remember?"