A book about me

Being born

So basically I was a born as a little turd on April 2, 2002. My family thought I was a miracle because I was supposed to be born on april fools but I didn't want to come out. I was literally like "No I'd rather not get laughed at on my birthday." so i probably forced myself to stay in my mom's stomach.

*Shows you baby pictures*

You: you were so cute! What happened? *laughs* Like I haven't heard that one before! *rolls eyes* So I was a very fussy child and I was really sassy. I threw like a lot of fits because I was spoiled rotten and got everything. I got yelled at a lot. I was like the devil as a child! *grows horns* I remember the neighbors laughing at me because I was fat and was to little to play with them. THEY WERE MEAN AF *throws cupcake at them* Anyways we should probably move on. Next chapter!