Connecting stars

Not the End yet

Sunday mornings make me feel lazy & i can barely stand on my feet. I opened my phone as it was ringing continuously for three times. Depression made my life worse. but from this very sunday i wanted to change, find a job, Clean room, buy new clothes. Sunday actually can be quite busy and lively. But there was another event to mark the calendar. It was an unbelievable record. i was not with my phone for two weeks . it's a great achievement for a social media addict like me. As i opened my account , I saw 5 messages from Jade. She was worried about me. There was one friend request of makoto. damn.  wanted to forget but again!!!
I wish he sent me request few years ago, when  Michiko didn't arrive in our lives.  I am not blaming her , but it's hard not to have grudge. Letting go someone who actually liked you secretly is even more painful. He sent me a message saying "Please come to our wedding this Monday . lots of love, Makoto. " . i also had a missed call from him. i called him. he asked me again & again to come  to the wedding & too bad i wasn't replying. he said it's....Tomorrow. he sent me the text on Friday.

I had to buy a present, which i bought it in the evening, in the mall. there was a super sale on gift items. i bought a photo frame, picked randomly, least interested. but i could not go bare hands. i had to give something. i bought some fresh flowers the next day, and headed to the venue. Seeing the address, from the wedding card he gave me, i reached a fancy, big house. apparently , it was Michiko's house. i was nervous & my hands got cold . I was looking around & spotted a girl, wearing a beautiful wedding dress covered with white laces and beads, waving her hands. It was so pretty. That was Obviously Michiko, waving hello. she  ran and hugged me, and said "Can we talk for a minute?"
"Y-yeahh why not..." I was sweating. not because it was hot, but was confused &  wondering what Michiko wanted to talk about.
She led me to her room, we sat on her bed , and she started "Hey, Chizu, it was very cruel of me to do thesethings to you . i understand that you are very hurt, and i'm such a failure as a friend, I am so glad I met, if i hadn't i would never meet Makoto. At first i was thinking it would be just for fun for teasing you, and never saw him as a love interest.   But after staying together for such a long time, i felt jealous when he was mentioning about you in every single conversation. so i lied to you about the whole dying thing. I was horrible. I wanted Makoto to be my treasure...So will you forgive me & keep this as a secret from Makoto. I truly love him now."

I didn't know what to say. All her story felt a bit exaggerated . I just tried to see good in her and forget what she did to me. as these things happen . It was just a stupid childhood love which could be forgotten...?

"Don't worry. I was just joking about the love stuff. i really like him as my friend.  And if it was something.. It's barely a crush " i smiled
"You're lying?" she asked
"nope."
"honestly?"
"yeah yeah. now let's go. You're prince is waiting for you." i grabbed her hand
Michiko kissed me on the cheek and said "you're the best friend i've ever had".
her eyes were asparkling. it really looked like she was not the person i was thinking about. she changed due to Makoto. maybe its a good thing that they are together...
thinking about some changes might be hard. but  as you go on...you won't feel the same..maybe...

Can someone forget their first love? I doubt. but this isn't a question. It's not "can"..it is a "must" forget..

The wedding began. they kissed. i cried. Inside not outside. Mom used to say grow up, and not show emotions i front of all. but if i actually showed my emotions, wouldn't it be even  more better?
If i confessed to him before, i would be the girl standing near the makoto. i would be the one sharing the kiss. i would be the one who'd forever be in his life.
I slapped myself. it's so wrong to envy such a beautiful couple. lJust  et him go....

"Found ya" Jade pushed me "where were you? why didn't you answer my calls, idiot?" she pulled my collar.
"S-sorry..." i winked
Jade got worried . ".i thought you wouldn't come. i was so worried when you didn't pick the phone like you've done something to yourse-"
"Don't be stupid. I came here not for Makoto. I came to see Michiko and Makoto." I smiled wide
"You really are...such a forgiving hopeless unlucky idiot" she said
"I know.." i looked at the bursting fireworks which were sparkling in the sky.
I gave them the flowers and the gift. Michiko opened it hurriedly . "Hey Michi, don't be so careless l. look at you such a little kid" he laughed
"JUST SHUT UP" Michiko grinned
"Such pretty flowers . thankyou so much , Chizu!!"
"Congratulations on your wedding"
Makoto gave me the smile like the one he gave me in the singing contest.
"Let's sing together!" Makoto said
he grabbed my hand and he started "That starry night" "Come on, Chizu! We promised to sing again, right?"
I almost got burst into tears .
"You ...remember...Idiot.." I harrshly pushed him
but he kept his hand on his head and said "that hurt, stupid"

We sang together and it seemed like we became kids again. I wanted the night to never end. i wanted to sing with him, even if my throat gets dry.
Michiko got drunk. I and Makoto laughed looking at her act crazy.

"Isn't it great, Chizu. Without my love , Michiko, and my friend, you, chizu, my life would be so empty" he said looking at the sky.
"Really?..I feel the same "

we held each other's hands , even though we were just friends, i was satisfied. I love Makoto . I will forever. Even if it has to be as a friend.
"Hey..will you remember me, Makoto" i said
i slipped my mouth. i didn't realize that he has no time for me. I felt weird and said "oh never min-"
"Ofcourse, I will." he said holding my hand even tightly. "You are a special friend of mine, who is hard to find. A friend who is always there to care."
I never had a guy friend like Makoto. his words made me feel a lot better. The night was not just beautiful. it was extremely wonderful with sparkling fireworks and stars. It was so cold outside but it got even more warmer with his presence, the warmth,  which he won't forget.  which i will not forget.