Love's A Lie

Not Afraid

Zachary felt anger building up towards the end of the day. Katherine's time table hadn't a single flaw. Nathaniel's eyes found him in the hall after he left Computer Technology. They'd found him in the back stairwell where he walked to his seventh class of the day, and they'd even made eye contact when he left his last class.
Zachary was furious when he saw him, and even more after reading through Katherine's little comments on her time table. Things like 'Nate sometimes looks at Zach's lips' or 'his eyes sparkle when Zach smiles' or even 'I think Nate Greeley is in love with the dork. Track star x outcast?'
"I am /not/ and outcast." Zachary growled to himself at the end of the day when he found his locker. It took him three times to get the combination right. "Zach? You okay?" Polly asked making her way to him.
"Katherine has lost her marbles! This time table is entirely too preposterous!" Zachary snarled. Polly took a step back. "'Kay, whatever that means... Look, Kitty didn't mean it to be some kind of cruel joke or something."
Zachary laughed glaring at his locker as he shoved his bag inside. "You don't believe I've already come to that conclusion? It's all too bizarre to think about. I'd rather drop the subject." Zachary huffed.
"What's bizarre about it? That someone like him might actually /like/ someone like you?" Polly asked. Zachary stopped moving and didn't look at her. "Precisely...or maybe the opposite? I'm not sure about any of this actually... Why does she have to make everything so jumbled and mixed up." Zachary noticed Polly's jaw tightening.
"You know, nothings changed. This is how it's been since before Kat noticed, since before she told you. Nothing's changed, and it's not her fault you're thoughts and feelings are all mixed up, it's yours. You know she's not making you feel the way you do. You're always saying that you aren't afraid, but look at you. You're trying to tuck your tail and run!"
Zachary glared at her. "I /am/ not doing any such thing." Polly rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to us, we're your friends. You know, you know everything there is to know about the people around you, but we hardly know a thing about you. You're afraid." Zachary felt her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
Everything she had said, he couldn't argue with it. So, what she had said must have been the truth... But Zachary knew he wasn't afraid. And even when she was gone he said it just to argue back in some form.
He took the time table from his pocket at unfolded it. Little hearts dotted the page, and Katherine's cursive writing of her name was all over the pages. The lines of the time table were pretty much squiggles, and it was obvious Zachary hadn't wrote a bit of it. So before he could come up with a logical reason not to, he marched to the athletics department.
He didn't know any of the people he saw as he stormed there, but they all looked at him as if he were alien. Zachary didn't blame them. Other than his athletics hour he wouldn't be found anywhere near this place.
But here he was storming into the boys changing rooms to find Nathaniel Greeley, whom, when he found him, wasn't wearing a shirt. "Nathaniel Greeley!" he barked. Boys around them had their eyes wide and the one's who did not seemed to want to punch Zachary in the face. Zachary adjusted his glasses clearing his throat.
"Your presence is needed across campus." he said voice would have shook if he hadn't spoken so quickly. "Why didn't you just say so?" Nathaniel said. Zachary left quickly waiting outside the room for Nathaniel to exit.
Many other boys did before him, nearly all of them giving Zachary the same look of pure difference. Zachary wasn't one of them, and he shouldn't be her. But he wasn't afraid, and he would prove it.
"What's going on? Is this because of Michael? I swear, I wasn't with him this time." Nathaniel said as he appeared. Zachary's face darkened in color. "T-This has nothing to do with any disciplinary matter. I am merely here to speak with you about a more private matter." he said not meeting his eyes. "Okay... Are you feeling alright dude?" Nathaniel asked.
Zachary was clenching and unclenching the sleeves of his sweater in his hands as he shifted his weight. "I have a friend. And she has come to the conclusion that I am being.../watched/." Zachary sputtered out.
"My friend has made a time table of minor infractions that could be left to coincidence, and I came here to speak with you to prove two points. My first point to be proven is my argument that is all left to simple coincidence, and my second point to prove is that I am not afraid." Nathaniel watched him as he took the folded paper from his sleeve, crumpled from his prior haste.
Nathaniel unfolded it and looked over Katherine's scribbled, but pretty writing. "Could you tell me the truth?" Zachary said breathlessly. "That this is purely out of coincidence, and my friend is a creep, er...something or the other."
The truth was Zachary was very afraid of the answer that he would get. If it was coincidence than it meant Zachary was not wanted and Nathaniel could laugh in his face. But if he was wrong...
"Can this wait? I have to practice...and I've got enough crap on my mind already." Nathaniel said. Zachary's face fell even further when he realized another fear, what if Nathaniel never answered him? Was he really that afraid?
"You can wait for me...on the bleachers if you want, or in the parking lot." Zachary blinked. "You- I-I mean, I... You don't have to-" Nathaniel just laughed. "I'll see you when practice is over Zachary." Zachary stood dumbfounded when Nathaniel walked away.

Presumably, he'd sit on the bleachers. But Zachary decided to sit at the picnic tables outside of the center so he could read his book in the shade. It must have been nearly two hours before someone sat beside him.
Zachary nearly had a heart attack. He snapped his book shut and slipped it into his bag as Nathaniel watched him. "That's the same book you read at lunch, right?" Zachary looked at him. "Yeah, I- How'd you...?"
Nathaniel just smiled pulling out the time table. "This kinda feels like a warrant for my arrest or something...except all the little squiggly hearts." he said chuckling. Zachary just stared at him.
"Uh...so who's your friend?" Nathaniel asked. Zachary blamed the heat on his blushing cheeks. "Katherine Grey. She's in our year and sits with me at lunch...she's my best friend." Zachary was always quick to answer questions, simple or difficult. Nathaniel nodded. "Yeah, I know..." An awkward silence fell over them, but Zachary was quick to break it.
"My apologies if this is any inconvenience to you. I know you must have better things to be doing at the moment." Nathaniel looked at him. "No, I... I mean, I knew this would happen eventually." Zachary was confused by his words. "Eventually? What are you saying?" he asked staring at Nathaniel's face quizzically.
Nathaniel smiled bashfully. "I mean...I knew that eventually you'd figure out how I feel about you." he said placing his hand shakily over Zachary's and grinning. "I like you a lot. And...I've just never really had the courage to tell you that."
Zachary's face betrayed how he was feeling. He tried to keep a neutral expression, but inside his organs were exploding. "So...I guess I have Katherine to thank?" Nathaniel laughed like it was unbelievable.
Zachary was staring at their hands. "Nathaniel-" Nathaniel shook his head at Zachary. "You can call me Nate, everybody else does." Zachary took a deep breath in panic. "Or, you could call me what you want. If that's not okay."
Zachary took his hand as he stood up quickly and grabbed his satchel gripping the strap tightly in his fist. "This isn't one of Katherine's stories. We're not going to fall for each other and become all lovey-dovey because, love isn't /real/ Nathaniel." Zachary spoke quick and breathlessly, his anxiety like a meter going off faster and louder by the second.
Nathaniel watched him with an expression of mixed emotion; shock, hurt, disappointment. "Why are you so afraid? All I said was I liked you, what's wrong?" he asked. "I am /not/ afraid!" Zachary snapped. He slapped a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry." he said, but his apology was muffled by his hand. "I need to go." he said quickly.
He hastily made his way down the street with Nathaniel calling after him. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. It was all coincidence, Nathaniel could never have feelings towards Zachary. That never happened in real life.
"Zachary."
The voice made him jump. Nathaniel had pulled up next to him in his car. It was a nice car, Zachary wondered how much it costed Nathaniel's parents. It was random, at a time like this. And Zachary felt as if he were losing his wit.
"Please, I'm sorry if I pushed things. Let me give you a ride home at least?" Nathaniel offered. Zachary wasn't afraid. He wasn't. He stopped and opened Nathaniel's passenger door climbing in.
'/I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid./' seemed to be on repeat in his mind.
"I am sorry...really. If I had known that it would affect you in that way I... I'm really sorry if I offended you." Zachary didn't look at him. "You didn't, I... It's just impossible. Things like this don't happen." Nathaniel kept glancing from the road to Zachary. "To you?" Zachary clenched the strap of his bag. "To anyone...not in the real world."
"What?" Nathaniel asked. "Love isn't real. No one ever really falls in love." Zachary said almost harshly. "People fall in love with each other every day." Nathaniel said. Zachary scoffed. "Name a couple that isn't from a book or movie?"
Nathaniel paused. "My parents." Zachary scoffed. "/Right/. You cannot possibly be sure about that." Nathaniel smirked. "I am. I see it in the way they look at each other." Zachary frowned. "That may be because, they have a bond. They have you, and they are just fond of each other." Nathaniel shook his head. "Why are you so against love?"
"Because, love is just a word. Love isn't real. It's a mix of emotions you have towards a person. Nothing can truly come from your /heart/ because, it's just an organ." Zachary explained for what felt like the thousandth time. Nathaniel seemed to be thinking about it. "Okay. How about I make you a deal?" Nathaniel offered.
Zachary finally looked at him. He was still smirking. "You meet my parents. And if you can prove to me that their love isn't real than I'll leave you alone." he said. "But if you can't, than you let me take you on a date."
Zachary stared at him in shock. "I don't-" Nathaniel interrupted him. "If you say no than I just know you're afraid of the challenge." Zachary glared at him. "How childish." Nathaniel just giggled. "So, do we have a deal?" he asked.
Zachary sighed. "I suppose so."