my bad: pepoo's apology

sorry folks

Hi guys, bringing this up again is probably not the best idea but the thought of this situation being unresolved was nagging me. In case it wasn't already clarified, I am not, nor was I ever, associated with @NotFlowey. I have never intentionally harassed anyone on this website. On my part, it was a mistake to think that sarcasm could've been detected in my words when a voice cannot be heard. Nearly everything I have said publicly is satirical and should not be taken at face value, as I have tried to emphasize this as much as possible. However, this does not excuse my behavior towards others. I apologize for causing confusion and distress among those involved. This entire situation could've been avoided if I had simply admitted to never owning an alt account. With that being said, I wouldn't be writing this if I hadn't felt the need to. Interestingly enough, it doesn't feel great to be called an idiot (the truth hurts). I handle anxiety and offense in the only way I know how; by making light of it. Unfortunately, this comes off as not only extremely annoying, but mildly condescending, something I try my hardest not to be in real life. I apologize if I this is how it was interpreted. I don't mind in the slightest if you continue to block me, it's no concern of mine. Thank you all for reading. I sincerely hope you all can forgive me. If you have any more questions/comments/concerns I will be happy to answer.


TL;DR: peepoopoppins sucks eggs REAL TALK and feels bad man sorry ITS JUST A PRANK BRO 2K16 (GONE WRONG) (GONE WILD) (GONE TO BED AT 10:00 PM DONT TELL MOM)

FILLER AHEAD:
Pam: [on the phone with a client] I just wanted to check and see if there's anything you needed before I went on my maternity leave... Yeah, I'm pregnant... Great, well, I'll write up the order. Okay, thanks.
Dwight: Wait a minute! You can't do that. You cannot exploit your baby for sales.
Jim: [on the phone] Hey, did I tell you we were going to have a baby? Oh, thank you very much. I'm excited. Oh, definitely.
Dwight: No, no! You need to come by your sales honorably!
Pam: There is nothing dishonorable about talking about your life. People like it.
Dwight: [on the phone with a client] Hey there. Dwight Schrute here. Listen, uh, would you be interested in restocking on paper? ... Yeah, I could sure use the money. My cousin, uh, came down with a case of that nasty new goat fungus. Oh, it's just horrific. The doctor says he'd never seen it beard so quickly. Okay.

Dwight: I need a baby. I'll never outsell Jim and Pam without one. Also, I've been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd.

Pam: Kevin, you're such a gourmand.
Kevin: I cooked my way through Julia Childs' cookbook, and now, I'm halfway through the Twilight cookbook. Last night, I had Edward's corn flake chicken.
Pam: Hmm.

Kevin: Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times, so we've been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner.

Kevin: I thought that maybe we should do something special for early dinner. One last ultra feast.
Pam: Mmmm, that sounds great. What are you thinking?
Kevin: I think it should be a surprise.
Meredith: [After Pam has a contraction] Oh, getting there, huh?
Pam: No, no. I still have time.

Pam: I'm having contractions, but they're irregular and far apart. So I'm not really in labor, I'm near labor.
Jim: Yeah, we're slow-playing it because of our stupid HMO.
Pam: If we check in after midnight, I get an extra day to recuperate surrounded by doctors.
Jim: Not to mention the extra night's sleep in the hospital will be very nice because once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is going to have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Pam: Ooh.
Michael: Oh, oh, oh! Contraption! She's contrapting! Okay, you know what? I think I should drive you guys to the hospital, and here is why. I am a licensed, classy driver in the state of Pennsylvania. I gassed up the car...
Jim: Michael.
Michael: Actually, I put diesel in this time, trying to save some money.
Jim: Michael, you shouldn't have done that.
Michael: Happy to do it. Also, I did a heck of a job baby-proofing this office.
Pam: You know the baby's not going to live here, right?
Michael: Well, the baby was conceived here, so might as well live here a little bit, too.
Jim: Hmm, that logic's air-tight, but unfortunately it wasn't conceived here. Burning man, port-o-potty.
Michael: Oh, yuck! TMI! How was it? I don't want to know. Tell me later. Let's go! Let's go! Hospital!
Pam: Okay, okay, we're not going to the hospital. We are waiting until midnight.
Erin: Ooh, spooky. But why?
Jim: Because the insurance company only covers two nights.
Pam: Everything's fine. We have plenty of time.
Nick: Well, you don't want to wait too long, Pam. Otherwise the baby's going to become a teenager in there and you'll be up all night, from the rock music.
Michael: Shut up, Nick. What a weird thing to say. Weird I.T. nerd. Don't get revenge on me, nerd.
Angela: [as Nick looks over at her] What are you looking at?
Dwight: Ha, nerd.

Kelly: Did you know that labor can last weeks? Then they take your insides out and they just plop them on a table, and sometimes epidurals don't work, and you can poop yourself.

Dwight: [with Angela in the break room] Bare my child.
Angela: Excuse me?
Dwight: I want to have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything... Very well. Let's meet at 4:00 PM at our old meeting spot and bang it out.

Jim: [after Pam has another contraction] That's seven minutes. Here we go. This is happening. Come on.
Pam: Hold on, hold on. It isn't midnight yet.
Jim: Are you serious? Pam.
Pam: No, the doctor said every five to seven minutes.
Jim: I... Pam, please.
Pam: I'm going to be okay, we should really try to make it until midnight.
Andy: Yeah, no, you really should. Because if your baby's born tomorrow, he's going to have the same birthday as Butt-mud Brooks. My old roommate.
Pam: Did you hear that? Butt-mud Brooks.
Jim: Okay, but we are leaving at five minutes apart.
Pam: Five minutes apart.

Jim: So, the plan was seven minutes. But we're calling an audible, because that's her call. Because she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle who happened to get her pregnant.