At My Ex-crush’s House
Me: Hello, (Ex-crush). It’s good to see you.
Ex-crush: Hi, (Me). Nice to see you too.
Matilde: It’s so wonderful to see you, (Ex-crush).
Me: I’ve been listening to Radiohead again like I’ve always been.
Ex-crush: LOL, you’re still obsessed with Radiohead. I remembered the story that you told me about listening to Kid A after I rejected you.
Me: Yeah, my feelings were so different back then. I only knew my fiancée as some random girl on social media. I discovered her back in August 11th, 2018 which is two months before the rejection back in October 22nd, 2018. I’ve mentioned that many times that I’m thankful for the rejection after fully recovering from it.
Ex-crush: I’m really happy for you and Matilde. You guys are wonderful couples. Unfortunately, I’ve never really been in a serious relationship, and I’m still a virgin.
Matilde: You’ll get someone. I promise you will.
The next day in August 6th, 2022...
(Matilde is hanging out with other distant family members)
Me: That was a pretty fantastic shower I just had with Matilde.
Ex-crush: I’m really glad that you’ve found someone in your life. I remembered that love letter you sent to me four years ago around the time I rejected you that you said you thought you would never find someone more attractive than me.
Me: Sometimes I think certain things like that, and they change eventually. I’ve always find you beautiful, but I’ve made a vow not to break Matilde’s heart.
Ex-crush: My mind and my heart has changed a lot over the years as well. In fact, I actually want to give you something. Would you like a błöwjöw from me?
Me: What? Are you phucking serious? TBH, I’ve always wanted a błöwjöw from you. However, I don’t want to hurt Matilde. What about a threesome with you and Matilde? I’m pretty sure that’s a better idea.
Ex-crush: A threesome is perfectly fine as well.
Me: I need to ask Matilde first. I’m actually a little anxious to tell her about this right now.
Ex-crush: Okay, before you talk to her about this, would you like to watch me take a shower?
Me: Sure, why not?
(Ex-crush takes a shower)
Me: OMG, I never thought I would ever see you naked. You look phucking hot TBH.
Ex-crush: Thanks. Once I’m done showering, feel free to talk to Matilde.
Me: I’ll give myself some time to think, and I’ll talk to her.
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