Replacable

Replacable

Is this who I am?
A replacable Item?
A toy with no worth?
Something that is to be forgotten
discarded,
Easy to find another, I’m sure.
Another friend whom you call a sister,
Your toy,
The one you fling across the room,
Scream at,
Abuse and hit,
Because of what others say,
What did I do wrong?
Have I failed to be there for you?
Haven’t you’ve seen what I sacrificed to be with you?
I promised to stick with you to the end,
Loyal till my last breath.
Obviously, that is not rare,
Apparently those who talk about you behind your back,
bully you,
tease you,
are the best of friends,
To fill your life with a spark of Drama.
It’s ok,
It’s not your fault I’m an outcast,
Maybe I’m meant to be forgotten,
Not once have I met a person who smiled and asked how I’ve been,
I’m usually the one to ask,
but in your air of intimidation I lack the voice to speak,
or whisper,
and I become a ghost,
You seem to have forgotten all those times I stuck up for you,
all those times I gave everything I could to you,
expecting nothing back but a friendship that was built by trust,
All the times I’ve done things for you was rewarded by a smack across the face,
You turned your head and went off to pick your new toy,
Your new puppet,
Your new clique gal,
One to take your beatings,
But that is where your wrong,
All those times you’ve called me worthless,
Stupid,
Ignorant,
Weak,
I’ve grown sick and tired of your words,
I felt a new personality grow within me,
One I can’t control,
One that will consume my every being,
One of Rage.
I’m sorry it happened,
I never wanted to harm anyone,
You’re right,
To you,
I am worthless,
an old toy,
A leaf in the wind,
A forgotten memory,
And what has become of the loyalty?
There is none anymore,
Because of YOU,
I am angry,
Because of YOU,
I am violent,
Because of YOU,
I harmed my family,
I’ve turned mental,
Visions in my head,
Wrapped around one person,
One who betrayed my trust,
One who severed the innocence in myself,
YOU are the problem here,
NOT ME.
YOU.
My rage consumed much,
Making me harm myself and others,
Doing things I never wanted to do.
You dragged me into this life,
and dragged me downwards,
But I escaped,
I found friendship with new people,
People who say ‘I love you.’
People who treat me like a HUMAN BEING.
I hope that someday,
Anyday,
You dig out of your own trench,
Apoligize,
Not to me…
But to the others.
I already forgive you.
I realized that being like you will lead to more pain, and more misery.
I forgive you,
And I will give you another chance,
but for now,
please open your eyes to the pain you’ve caused,
I let my rage get the best of me and hurt many people,
I wrecked my family,
I almost killed myself,
But I found that there are people willing to help you.
I found love,
Peace,
And Acceptance.
I found love.
I FOUND MYSELF.
AND from what I learned…
I AM NOT REPLACABLE.
I AM NOT WEAK.
I AM NOT A SHADOW.
I AM NOT STUPID OR IGNORANT.
I WILL CONTINUE TO STAND.
I WILL NOT LET YOU CONTROL MYSELF,
I AM NOT REPLACABLE.