Clutterfuck of stuff in my brain

~Befriending the defeated Pt. 1~ (Just something out of context, from Sam's POV)

I fell to my knees, breathing was getting difficult. But that didn't matter, what mattered was I had finally won. I remember my exhaustion, the scent of their blood, and my blurry vision all too well. I couldn't tell but I knew the kid, that thing, was long gone. They had finally met their fate, their end. The karma they had ordered. I'm sure I was glaring at them from my position, watching as their bright yellow sweater turned into a sick orange color from the blood that was being soaked. I rationalized over and over and over. This was the right thing, they did kill everyone I ever truly cared about. But the little girl that lay before me said a different story. Sure they had slaughter my friends and family but... was it truly their fault? No. It had to be. They carried out the action they could have went back at any time. I wish I would have known her side of the story. To know it in fact wasn't, I'm getting ahead of myself again, am I? Anyways, truth be told, I never liked resorting to murder. Then again, no body I knew would have either. But I believe I actually felt a sort of pride from this, I am sorry to admit...
Now all I had to do was take her bag that lay by her side and go home. Although I knew nobody would be there to come home to. Well I reckon that was partly a lie, I wouldn't be... all alone. But I'll get to that later on. Something was so... confusing about her though. Sofia still lay there, I would have expected a reset. But for whatever reason, she did not. I shrugged it off however and decided to play along, as far as I knew, I had broken her for good. I remember, tilting her head to the side, as a chill ran through my being causing me to shudder. I snatched her bag and stepped away, knowing their soul was shattered. I remember feeling the delicate fabrics as tears poked at my eyes. It had once belonged to... my sister. I didn't really understand what Sofia needed. Good gods, I wish I knew.
You know, I really should have expected a back up weapon in her bag, but it still shaken me up a little inside. That same blade had... Needless to say, to hell with that. I threw it off to the side to make sure it had been gone. But all in all I was more intrigued by something else that was in said bag. It was a leather bound book. I remember the confusion as to why the kid needed this. A knife, sure... But this? I did my best not to let it bug me too much as I pocketed the book, I just needed to go home... But I wish I would have read it sooner. But I do guess that Sofia was the only true enemy for me, I'd invade her privacy on my own terms, at the moment I just needed some alcohol to keep me grounded. But I do guess, I missed an opportunity by not wanting to see through the kid. And I am really sorry about that.