The Insanity of Love

The Cliff

I stared out into the rocky shores. The sea bubbled and boiled underneath me. I kicked a small pebble over the edge; it tumbled and tumbled and elegantly splashed into the grey waters. I smiled, "I'm like the pebble." I put my foot over the edge and wiggled my toes. My flip flop dangled off my foot and with another shake of my foot it floated down to the rocks. My foot was left dangling over the edge and I breathed in the salty air. I looked up to the clouds, to my audience, "You know, I want to join you up there." I put my foot back but shook my other foot over and shook off the remaining shoe. "Time to go." I stood on my tip toes and sucked in my breath. Then BAM. I was dragged back and slammed down on the ground. "What the--"
     "What are you doing?!" The voice was as familiar as my own.
     "Max? How did you find me?" I screamed trying to get away from him. He had never been that strong but now, even using all my strength, I could't break out of his arms. "Let go of me!"
     "Not until I know you're safe!" He yelled in my ear.
     "I was never in danger, idiot!" I struggled and squirmed and yet his grasp remained firm.
     "Mae! Stop it! Just stop!" He yelled trying to turn me on my side. So I stopped and just sat in Max's arms. "Mae, what were you doing?"
     "Nothing." I said defiantly.
     "Oh, Mae--- God. Do you think I'm stupid." I stayed silent. "Why? Why, Mae?"
     "I wanted to fly, Max. I wanted to soar." I stretched out my fingertips to the sky. "Like all those poems. I wanted to feel the wind catch under my wings. I wanted there to be nothingness."
     "You were about to commit suicide!" Max screamed and he let me go. I sat up and considered launching myself off the cliff but Max was on me in a second. He grabbed my wrist. "You're not going anywhere." I sat back down indignantly. "Mae, what's wrong?"
     "Nothing."
     "Dammit, Mae! Why are you being so stubborn?" Max yelled at me. I looked at his pale face. He wasn't very attractive, he never was. The only thing intriguing about him were his eyes, if you could see them past his glasses, that is. They were a steely blue that could pierce your soul and find your inner core. Now the steeliness was gone. The usual grey had been washed out and all that was left was a stormy blue that was filled with concern and passion. "What was I going to do if I lost you? How would I survive?"
     "Oh Max, you hate all that cheesy drama stuff." I said dryly.
     "Well, I'm starting to find some truth in their words." He shouted exasperated.
     "Would you stop always worrying about me!" I cried equally frustrated.
     "No!"
     "Why not?"
     "Because I love you!" Max's chest rose and fell and his face turned blood red.
     "Oh you only think you do." I said coldly. I saw him cringe out of the corner of my eye and I felt terrible. "Max, I'm fine. Go home."
     "You're not fine! You nearly just took your life!"
     "Oh, Max..." I turned to him. Tears rolled down my cheeks and wind whipped my hair up all around me.
     "Mae, I love you. I have from the minute I saw you." He cupped my cheeks and rubbed the tears away with his thumb.
     "Max," my sobs cut me off. He wrapped his arms around me "Max, I--I--I---"
     "I know." He looked to me and smiled. "I always have." With that he bent down and kissed me. It was rough because it was his first but nothing at this point mattered. I pulled away, sobbing harder. "I-I'm sorry." He looked away disgusted with himself. I reached out and groped for his hand.
     "Max, Max, Max!" My voice was hoarse now but what was really stopping me was the screaming in my head. The voices started to come back, louder this time. Louder than ever. "No stop! Stop it! Go away!" My vision got blurry and the world seemed to tilt.
     "Mae, what's wrong? Mae!" Max's voiced sounded miles away and I held my head in my hands. The tears were exploding out of my eyes and I started to go rigid. I opened my eyes and Max was sitting there with his hands on my shoulders. I threw myself into him and the voices quieted. The din seemed to lessen when Max was around. I looked up to him wide-eyed. I threw my arms around his neck and slammed my lips into his. It hurt but the voices went away at his touch. We sat like this for impossibly long moments.
     "I'm not crazy." I whispered proudly.
     "Yes you are!" Max laughed.