Ghosts

Chapter 9

'I nearly didn't recognize you with your clothes on.' 'Violet. I was merely trying to leave myself open and spiritually accessible.' 'Mom. The way you were sitting, everything was open and accessible.' 'I was merely trying to do my bit.' She poured herself another drink. 'Your Gran says you told her you're gay.' 'She also said she lived in Graceland with Elvis, before he got married. I didn't tell her that I'm gay, because it isn't true. I'll be sorting myself out a boyfriend, as soon as I have the house sold.' 'Good God. You'll be older than me, if it takes that long. What are you doing?' 'Googling.' 'Sounds dirty.' 'Have you seen what these real estate agents charge? A bloody fortune. I reckon I could do that.' 'Nothing wrong with a hobby, I suppose.' 'Mom. I mean as a proper job. A career. I might have to sit a course, pass an exam, but I'm looking into it.' 'Have you been on your Gran's dope again?' 'You never did have much faith in me.' 'All I'm saying is you're setting yourself up for a fall.' 'Thanks for your moral support. Look at this.' 'Ugh! Is that a Google?' 'No. That's a ghost. Well, an odd shadow somebody reckons is a ghost. This site claims it knows how to deal with ghosts.' 'And does it?' 'Only if I send for the handbook, now on special offer for only nineteen ninety five.' 'Well, there you go, then. Get that.' 'It's a scam, Mom. Look. Seriously. We have to do something. You got on well with Aunt Daphne. Maybe you can talk some sense into her.' 'Me? You have to be joking. You want me to go into the house of death?' 'Oh, not you as well, Mom. If people keep calling it that, I'd have more chance selling rats to the people of Hamlin. And yes. I want you to come and talk to Aunt Daphne.' 'But...' 'No excuses. We go there together, and you can reason with her.' 'When?' 'In the morning. Before you get drunk.' 'What are you inferring? That I have a drinking problem?' 'Only when you run out.'