Insanity Can't Be Understood

Admitting Feelings

As we came back in from another hunt, I became silent. Death and I were alone... I didn't know what to do. After being silent, she asked, "You ok?" I answered, "If there was something wrong, I'd know what it was." She walked up to me saying, "Alright then, if you're ok..." I looked at her, but still stayed silent. She finally asked, "Why are you quiet? There is something going on through your mind, right?" I blushed slightly for probably a second or two (that happens way too often), then answered, "I'd rather not say my thoughts..." I could see by the look on her face that she was puzzled by my reaction. She walked back over to the couch and sat down. I started scanning my thoughts. All I could think of was how I would break this to her and when I would. Maybe now. Maybe never. Maybe I'd say it quickly so she may not understand. Maybe I'd say it slowly so she could confirm it. I did this to Saundra once, but she started it with notes. You know, the ones that say, "Do you like me?" then you'd circle yes or no. The easy way. But here I can't do 'notes'. She asked, "What subject are your thoughts leaning to? Killing? Weapons? What?" I blushed slightly again, but it disappeared quickly. I said, finally deciding what to say, "Things... That you would really rather not hear... That I'd really rather not even think about..." She asked, "Why?" I answered, "Just because..." Death got fairly close by asking, "Is it about that girl?" I had told her about Saundra earlier, so that's who she meant. I answered, "No, but it's sorta close..." She asked, "It's a girl, right?" I answered, "Yes.." She got excited at that moment. She asked, "Her name?" I didn't know what to say, so I said, "Do you really wanna know? Please tell me you won't hurt me if I tell you..." She threw her knife behind her, and it hit the wall. She said, "Ok, I won't kill you. Please, tell me!" I sighed in defeat of trying to stall her. I hesitantly said, "Her name is...." I sighed in more defeat and finally let out, "You... You are this 'her'..." I turned away and covered my face to hide the blush on it.