The Struggle For Love

Chapter 5.5

*Stacie's POV*
        Twenty five minutes later, Marissa and I are both ready. I’m shocked she was actually able to get us both ready in such a short time. She was able to brush my hair, put make-up on me, and do the same for her. I’ve tried several times to look at myself in a mirror to ease my worrying, but Marissa wouldn’t let me. As soon as she turns away, I will take the chance to look.
        “Are you ready?” she asks me obviously excited.
        “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say shrugging my shoulders.
        “Good. Now, come with me,” she says guiding me to my bathroom. I swim ahead of her unknowing what she is about to do. I thought we were leaving. If we don’t leave now, we’re going to be late. “Look,“ she says as she pushes me in the tiny room. I glance at the beautiful creature before me. At first, I wondered who it could be before realizing it’s me.
        Marissa did as I told her. She made me look natural. Everything is so beautiful, but my eyes are the first things to catch my sight. They have always been my favorite feature. They’re practically popping out of my head with beauty. Those lips of mine are the next thing to catch my eye. They look so plush and attractive. My skin… My skin looks flawless. Usually, I will put concealer or foundation on before going to school, but I didn’t even feel Marissa touch my skin. I swear she has worked wonders for me. Did I talk about my hair? It looks even more curlier than normal, and that’s saying something. My hair is usually extremely curly, but somehow she managed to add twice it’s curliness to it. Finally, I get to see what Marissa’s blue bra looks like on me. I have to admit, her bra looks very slimming and looks as if it was made for me. Also, it goes great with my bright purple tail.
        “You like?” Marissa asks smiling.
        “Like? No,” I state trying to show no emotion. I see a frown appear on her once proud face. “I love!” I scream in amazement. Marissa instantly grins showing she is proud once again.
        “Really?”
        “Yeah! I look…” I begin to say looking for the correct word.
        “Beautiful?” I nod grinning.
        “Thanks, Marissa. You’re the best friend I could ever hope for.”
        “No problem. Now, those boys are going to be drooling over us,” she says smirking. I look at her confused before realizing I never paid attention to what she looks like. It shows what a great friend I am.
        Like me, Marissa made herself look natural. Marissa’s normal small, thin lips look plusher and more average size than usual. Her coral lipstick is really blowing my mind. That must be why her lips look plumper today. Any other day, they don’t. Besides that, they are really shining like diamonds. Oh my gosh! Her caramel colored eyes are popping full of beauty just like mine. Marissa’s once wavy reddish-brown hair is now straight. Her skin looks just as flawless as mine. Shockingly, she looks even more tanner than she did two hours ago. I personally think it’s because of her astonishing golden yellow bra I picked out for her. She looks great in it! I knew that red one would look awful. Go, Stacie! You got skills when it comes to picking out your best friend’s clothing.
        “Hopefully,” I whisper. Marissa stares at me wide-eyed. She quickly places both her hands on my shoulders.
        “No! Don’t say that! You have to sound confident, even if you aren’t!” Marissa whines.
        “I can’t,” I say softly.
        “Yes you can! Now, repeat after me. I am beautiful,” Marissa says sternly.
        “I am beautiful,” I repeat not believing it.
        “No matter what happens today, I will remember this.”
        “No matter what happens today, I will remember this,” I repeat.
        “Remember what?” she asks.
        “That… I am beautiful?” I say hoping that is what she wants to hear.
        “Good. Now, those boys are going to be drooling over me when I swim by.”
        “Those boys are going to be drooling over me when I swim by,” I repeat not being able to picture it in my head.
        “And if they don’t, they’re most likely gay.”
        “No,” I say objecting.
        “Say it,” she says sternly staring me down. I swear she would make one serious hardcore mother.
        “And if they don’t, they’re most likely gay,” I say groaning.
        “Good, now lets get a move on! The boys are waiting for us!” Marissa says beaming full of excitement and anticipation. I look at my alarm clock to see that we’re late. I quickly swim to my room to get my things. Next, I swim into the kitchen to see my mom still hovering over the stove. I kiss her cheek goodbye.
        “Leaving?” she asks.
        “Yes. We’re already late,” I say hastily.
        “Okay. When will you be home?” I stop dead in my tracks. I didn’t think of that.
        “I don’t know. When do you want me to be home?” I ask.
        “Anytime is fine with me. I can take care of them for now,” she says smiling.
        “I’ll be back before your shift, I promise.”
        “Okay, sweetie. Have fun!” I nod my head.
        “I will,” I say as I swim out the door before being stopped by an upset Avery. He has tears flowing out of his eyes and a frown painted on his face.
        “What’s wrong, baby?”
        “You’re weaving.” Even though this is not the time, I can’t help but love how he can’t pronounce the letter “L”.
        “I’m sorry. I have to go, though. I need to go work on a school project with Marissa,” I say apologizing instantly feeling bad that I’m leaving.
        “Wiw you come back?”
        “Of course, baby! I could never leave you!” I say picking him up and hugging him tightly.
        “Pwomise?”
        “I pinky promise, okay? I will be coming back later to tuck you into bed and read you a bedtime story. And then tomorrow, I won’t have to go to school, so we can play all day tomorrow. How does that sound?” Avery instantly lights up.
        “Good,” he says smiling a small smile.
        “Okay, now be a good boy for mommy for me. I’ll be back soon.” I kiss his cheek. Avery hugs me one last time before going inside to watch me leave from the window.
        I start swimming towards my school feeling bad for leaving Avery. Marissa feels just as bad as I do. She loves Avery as if he was her own brother. He practically is. She protects him, loves him, and cares for him as much as I do. Marissa has been there since he was born. She even waited with me and helped take care of Brittany and Blythe in the hospital while he was being born. I don’t think I could have survived without her there. Brittany was nine at the time, and Blythe was only four. They were terrible monsters.
        I was only thirteen when Avery was born. When I got to hold him for the first time, he smiled at me and fell asleep in my arms. His bright yellow tail was lighting up the whole room. Neither Brittany nor Blythe ever acted that way towards me when I first held them. They both cried and wanted to go back to my mom. From that point on, I made it my mission to never let someone hurt Avery. From the moment I held him, I promised him I would always protect him. I even have started calling him baby because he is my baby. I have always been there and made it my mission to be there for him whenever he needed me.
        Although I made that promise to him, I failed my job. Someone hurt him: his own father. He left Avery like mine did me. Avery was asking for two whole months when his father would be back. None of us could break it to him, so we kept telling him that he was on a business trip. During those two months, Avery’s birthday happened. Avery wouldn’t let anyone celebrate it because he was waiting for his father to swim in through the door with a birthday present telling him happy birthday. After the two months passed, Avery realized his father was never coming back. The past few months have been such a roller coaster for him. In fact,  his whole life has been when it came to his father.
        Avery’s father was the coldest person you could ever imagine. He never said I love you or anything kind to anyone. Us children could never tell if he loved us or hated us. Although he tried to buy our love, we still didn’t know what that meant. Brittany is the only one who allowed her love to be bought. The rest of us didn’t accept it. We wanted real love than fake love. Anyways, Avery’s father would always make cruel jokes and presumptions about people, especially us. We were always put down and upset over the things he would say to us. He probably made us more self conscious and insecure.
        My mom and I were insecure before, but now we’re a total mess. My mom tells us everyday about how she’ll never meet another guy who will love her because of her looks. Sometimes, she claims it’s because we never do anything to help out around the house. I try my best to do whatever I can though. Blythe and Avery are young, so I wouldn’t expect them, too. Brittany has no excuse though. She chooses to not do anything until my mom is at her breaking point which tends to be everyday.
        Shockingly, Avery’s father wasn’t always cold. He was actually pretty kind when he first married my mom. He was caring and would do romantic things for my mom. Us children thought he actually cared about us. I don’t know what changed him. Since he left, Avery’s father hasn’t stopped by not once to see him. I feel really bad for Avery. I know how it feels to be rejected by your own father. It’s not a pretty feeling. It leaves you feeling bad about yourself. I felt really guilty. I thought it was my fault my father left for a very long time.
        It’s only been a month since Avery started being happy again. He has been playing and getting back to his normal self. Whenever I leave him, excluding for school or to pick up Brittany and Blythe, Avery tends to get upset and think I am leaving him for good. It always upsets my heart that he feels this way. When he was sad and upset during those long two months, he wouldn’t dare come outside to say hello or greet me with hugs and kisses. He would stay in his room all day doing nothing. I would sometimes swim in to check on him, and he would be staring up at the ceiling or at a wall. I’m so glad he is no longer depressed. It’s a huge relief to my family and mostly, myself.
        As we near the school, I can see Nick pacing back and forth. I quickly make sure all the strings to my bra are in their place. Once I am satisfied with them, I glance at Marissa who is doing the same. She looks up at me when she finally finishes. I start to bite my lip in a nervous habit, but Marissa shakes her head. I quickly stop, but instantly feel my hands beginning to shake as I try to look ahead. Marissa must have noticed because she grabs my hand. I glance back at her and mouth the words thank you. She smiles and mouths back, “No problem.”
        Once we are next to Nick, we stop and wait for him to notice us. He’s turned around looking in the other direction. Marissa clears her throat hoping to symbolize we’re here. He immediately jumps a little, forcing a small chuckle to escape my lips. Nick turns around to see us and begins to smile awkwardly instead of his usual smirk. It’s probably because we just scared him.
        “Right this way, ladies,” he says as he starts swimming in the opposite direction from were we just came. Surely, I would have thought he would have said something about us being late. I guess not.
        Nick starts to twiddle with his fingers like I tend to do whenever I get nervous or am just plain bored. I guess he must be nervous, too. Of course, he could be bored, though. I can’t read his mind, so I don’t know which. As he does that, Marissa and I follow gladly behind being silent as a doorknob. I’m guessing she’s probably being quiet like me because she’s thinking of what might happen tonight. Hopefully, nothing embarrassing or bad happens to either one of us to make this night memorable in an awful way.