The Struggle For Love

Chapter 11

*Stacie's POV*
        It has been a week since I snapped on my mom. She barely comes in my room to see me, so I haven’t been able to tell her how sorry I am. In a way, I’m glad she hasn’t allowed me to do so, but I miss her. She was the one person I could always trust to be by my side. Now that she’s gone, it’s like she took a chunk of myself with her. Ayden hasn’t left my side, but he’s not the same as my mother. She would always be caring and gentle. Ever since he witnessed me scream at my mom, he’s been distant. He rarely talks to me. I hate apologizing to people, but I’ve done so many times.
        “Ayden, will you at least speak to me? I don’t know why you would even come if you were only going to sit there silently. I appreciate all your help, but I have nurses for that. I really just need someone who can comfort me through all this. I thought that was why you keep coming, but I haven’t been hugged nor kissed not once by you. You’re acting like my father and my step dad, Ayden. I don’t need another merman like them in my life. The only thing I need from a merman is the feeling of being loved. Either you love me, or you swim out of my life,” I state blankly. Ayden looks up from his shell.
        “Stacie, I do love you. I’ve told you how I waited for you for four years already. What more do you want? I’m here, aren’t I? Why would I come if I didn’t love you? Why would I have kissed you if I didn’t love you?” Ayden shoots back.
        “You could have loved me when we first got together, but your feelings changed now that we found out I’m going to die; you can’t handle everything going on with me, so your love for me has grown sour. Lately, you’ve been distant. The sweet, cheerful Ayden I’ve learned to know and love has disappeared. You haven’t figured out your feelings for me, so you keep coming here in order to figure them out. Let me tell you something though: if that’s what you’re doing to me, it’s not fair to me at all. Why should my feelings be played with while you figure out yours?”
        “Stacie, it’s-”
        “And if this is about how I yelled at my mom, then you really need to get over it. I’ve apologized several times to you…”
        “But you haven’t apologized to your mom, yet!” Ayden screams standing up from his chair and interrupting me in the middle of my ranting.
        “She won’t give me the chance to! Every time she comes in, I try to say I’m sorry; she just swims out the door every time I open my mouth though! My mom has barely come in here to see me, so how can I possibly go tell her? I’m bed-ridden! I have all of these cords hooked up to my head! If she really wanted to hear my apology, she would have allowed me to do so already!” I cross my arms over my chest and glare at Ayden feeling triumphant. He sits back down in his chair stumped.
        “I- Hmm. You must have hurt her too much making her not want to come in here. You did say a lot of terrible things to her…” Ayden pauses. I wait in silence for what his apology. “Stacie, I’m sorry. I will stop being distant towards you. It’s just I hate it when mermaids disrespect the one mermaid who has cared for them their whole entire life and has never left their side when they needed them.”
        “I understand, but you don’t know what my life is like. It’s been too stressful for me for the past couple years. Everyone expects me to do everything, but never asks what my thoughts are on the subject. People expect me to be the best I am and do the best I can; I hold everything in by now, and it’s all about to explode out of me. What I told my mom was just the beginning of what’s to come,” I state gravely to Ayden. He looks at me confused. I just continue. “I am expected to pick up Blythe and Brittany, help them with their homework, watch them during the night, and so much more. It’s a burden, Ayden. I shouldn’t have to do all of this. Normal teenagers don’t have to do all of this in one night. Did you know I barely have any time to work on my homework by the time I’m done? I never have anytime to myself.”
        “I didn’t know it was like that at your house. I didn’t know how demanding your family was period. I feel sorry for you. My family is nothing like that. We are expected to do good in school, but that is it practically. I’m not expected of many things. I’m sorry. I didn’t know all of that. I shouldn’t have judged you before I knew the whole behind-the-scenes story. I’ll try to be more understanding next time. I won’t do it again, I promise.” I frown and shake my head.
        “You say you won’t do it again, but how do I know you mean it? The next time something happens, you could judge me before knowing my situation. I can’t trust you, Ayden. I just can’t right now. You’re going to have to prove it to me.” Ayden nods understandingly.
        “I really do mean it at the moment though. I know I might contradict myself sometime in the future, but for now, I’m not going to judge you before I know the whole story.” Ayden smiles coming closer. My heart beat quickens. Ayden soft lips touch mine. I am about to kiss him back when I hear a knock at the hospital door. I pull away upset to see my mom waiting in the doorway.
        “I heard everything you said,” she states frowning twiddling with her fingers. I gulp. “I’m sorry you feel that way, sweetie. I never knew that was how you felt. I’m sorry I ask so much of you. It’s just that I’m a single parent, and it’s very stressful taking care of all of you by myself. I have no one to help me; normal parents have family members and friends who are there to help them. Usually, normal parents stick it out through thick and thin no matter what. None of your fathers were like that I guess. I must have bad taste in mermen because all the ones I marry leave us to fend for ourselves. After you get out of here, I won’t ask anymore of you. I will hire someone to take care of your siblings. I will hire someone to help me around the house. You’ll be expected to do nothing ever again after this. I didn’t think I was asking much of you. I didn’t try to at least. I knew you had your own things going on; I didn’t want to add anymore to that. The thing I always wanted the most for you was to be a normal teenager. That’s all a parent can ask of their child; normalness that lasts throughout their life. My prayers weren’t answered though; the ocean gave you a tumor for a reason no matter how I feel about it.” I know I should be more understanding about all of this, but my mom’s talk is only making me feel bad. I nod only to show my mom I am fine with everything she has stated.
        “I’m sorry too, Mom. I know all of our dads left you to take care of us by yourself. Most of the time I was doing all of that stuff, I was thinking about how you were all alone to do it. You should have at least one person who is willing to take care of us; not because they feel obligated to, but because they love you. They should be willing to do so with no regrets.” I pause. “Does this mean you forgive me?” My mom chuckles.
        “Yes, Stacie. I forgive you.”
        “Good. Now that all of that is settled, has anyone told you when I can leave here?” I ask hopeful.
        “No, but I can go ask them right now. You have to understand you have a tumor though. You’re going to see these walls many times in the future, so don’t be happy to see them go just yet.”
        “I know, and I won’t be. I’m just tired of being in here for now. I have been in here for a week. It’s getting boring in here. I’m not allowed to get up, swim around, anything. All I’m allowed to do is sit here in this bed and breathe.”
        “I’ll go ask them, but I can’t promise they’ll give me an answer.”
        “I understand.” She nods and exits out the door. I glance over towards Ayden to see him smirking. “What?”
        “Now, back to what we were doing before we were interrupted,” Ayden says inching closer and closer to me. I smirk. Ayden’s lips brush mine for a quick second sending a jolt of electricity down my spine before pulling away leaving me wanting more. Ayden smiles seeing my pleading face.
        “You want some more?” Ayden asks.
        “I never got any in the first place.”
        “Are you sure? I specifically remember kissing you.” I laugh grabbing Ayden by his hair. I pull him towards me and smash my lips against his. He quickly pulls away smiling. “I like a woman who takes charge.” I pull Ayden back to me kissing him gently yet rough.
        “What did I do to deserve you?” Ayden asks, eyes gleaming. I giggle. I’m about to reply when I hear a strange, familiar voice.
        “Stacie?” I turn towards the door to see Alex standing in the doorway.
        “A-A-” I stammer.
        “Who are you?” Ayden asks irritated.
        “I’m Alex, Stacie’s boyfriend. Who are you?”
        “That’s funny. I thought I was Stacie’s boyfriend. Stacie what’s going on here?” They glare at each other.
        “Alex, you’re not my boyfriend. You broke up with me, remember?”
        “I called your shell several times. I left you messages. Didn’t you get any of them?” Alex asks.
        “No! Clearly, I’ve been in the hospital the past week! What could you have possibly have said in those messages? Did you apologize for breaking up with me on such terrible terms?”
        “Actually, yes. I was wrong, Stacie. I shouldn’t have broken up with you. My parents don’t have any say in our relationship. I didn’t break up with you simply because they said to though. They threatened me; either I was to break up with you, or your mom was to be fired from her job.”
        “So? You told me this already!”
        “I knew what your mom’s job meant in your family; it’s what keeps you all alive. If she lost it, then you’d all be put out on the street. I felt an obligation to make sure you were taken care of. Even though I hated doing it, I broke up with you to make sure you had a roof over your head and food on your plate. I don’t regret making my choice for that decision, but I do regret not fighting harder for us. Stacie, if you take me back, I promise I’ll fight harder for you.”