The Struggle For Love

Chapter 9.5

*Stacie's POV*
        “How could Alex do this to me? How could he break up with me? How dare his parents say he has to? Who do they think they are? The ocean? They’re certainly not the ocean. Ooh, if I ever see them again, I’ll… I’ll… We’ll I don’t know what I’ll do, but they won’t know what hit them that’s for sure,” I say talking to myself as I swim through the vast, open ocean. Feeling everything, all the emotions get to me, I stop swimming immediately falling, kneeling on the ground crying into my hands. “Why does everything bad have to happen to me? Why do Alex’s parents have to bully me? I’ve already had to deal with bullying. I don’t want to go through it again. Alex should have stood up to them, not just for me but himself too. They’re always bossing him around. Isn’t he sick of it? I am, and I’m not even the victim. How am I going to get through this? Just as I am starting to get over everyone else who has left me, he shows up. Now, he leaves me along with all the others. Am I really that bad of a mermaid? Am I too boring? Am I too nice? What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone always leave me?”
        “Hey, are you okay?” a voice asks from behind me. It sounds like a merman. I hastily wipe my tears away as a familiar merman swims into view.
        “Ayden?” I ask shocked.
        “Stacie?” he asks back.
        “I can’t believe it’s you!” we both exclaim simultaneously.
        “How have you been?” he asks smiling cheerfully.
        “Not so great,” I admit. His smile instantly fades away.
        “I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
        “Unless you’re able to persuade mermaids to rethink their decisions, then no.”
        “Sorry. I’m pretty sure that’s not on my list of talents,” he says shrugging. I sigh.
        “I thought so.”
        “What happened?” Ayden asks, sounding really concerned.
        “My boyfriend’s parents made him break up with me.”
        “Really? That’s crazy. Why would they want him to break up with you? You’re amazing! You’re beautiful, smart, sweet…” I instantly smile. Ayden notices he’s beginning to ramble. “Well, at least from what I remember.” I frown.
        “So, I guess I’m not beautiful then,” I say obviously sad and upset.
        “No! Um, well, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re still beautiful, maybe even more now.” My smile reappears, growing bigger than before.
        “Thanks. I can’t believe it’s been so long. How many years has it been? Three? Four?” I wonder curiously.
        “I think four,” Ayden says thinking to himself.
        “So, you must be twenty, then?” I ask completely shocked but trying not to show any of it.
        “Yep. How old are you now?”
        “Sixteen,” I say cheerfully.
        “Wow, almost a woman.”
        “What do you mean almost? I am a woman.” I smirk.
        “Is that so?” Ayden says, crossing his arms on his chest.
        “Yep. Just look at me,” I say holding my hands out. Ayden takes that as a sign to look me up and down. I smirk as he does so. Ayden smiles happily.
        “Even with the body, you still have to act like one.”
        “And who says I don’t?” My hands quickly grab my waist.
        “No one, but no one says you act like one either,” he replies smirking.
        “I say I act like one.”
        “You don’t count. It needs to be someone beside yourself.”
        “Well, there’s no one around.” I say, signaling our surroundings.
        “Looks so.” Ayden nods.
        “So, you’re just going to have to trust me for now.”
        “No, I’ll drop it for now, but I will bring it up later.”
        “Whatever.” I start swimming in a different direction than where I was headed. Ayden watches me leave for a few seconds but quickly catches up.
        “So, how many boyfriends have you had?” Ayden asks being nosy. I stop swimming shocked and embarrassed.
        “That’s personal,” I say beginning to swim again in the same direction.
        “What if I told you how many girlfriends I’ve had? Will you tell me, then?”
        “Maybe.”
        “Since the last time I saw you, I’ve had six… six girlfriends.”
        “That little? I thought you would have had more than that,” I say completely shocked.
        “What can I say? Wait, why did you think that?” Ayden asks, stopping abruptly forcing me to stop too.
        “I don’t know. Your personality, I guess. A lot of girls would like a guy with your personality,” I say lying. Well, I’m not lying-lying. It is partly the truth. I loved Ayden’s personality. It’s probably the number one reason why I liked him so much a couple of years ago.
        I wonder if he still likes me. Gosh, I should’ve said yes when his friend asked me if I liked Ayden. Then, I would know what it would’ve been like to date him and have him as my boyfriend. Maybe we would still be together and I wouldn’t be dealing with all this heartbreak over Alex.
        “Is that it?” What more does he want? I’m not going to admit my feelings for him.
        “Yeah…”
        “Are you sure?” Ayden asks continuing to pester me.
        “I’m pretty sure. Why?” I ask curiously, but a little hesitant at the same time.
        “I would have thought you would have said something else, but I guess I was wrong,” Ayden says frowning.
        “Okay, fine. The real reason is that you’re just very cute. I thought girls would be all over you because you’re so cute. Back then, everyone we knew liked you, and they were all younger than me! Maybe it’s just younger girls who like you,” I admit feeling a blush come on.
        “Did you like me? You know, when we were younger?”
        “Um, honestly?” He nods. I gulp beginning to feel seahorses swim around in my stomach. Face your fears, Stacie. “Yeah. I liked you a lot actually. I thought about you everyday and every night. I loved talking to you on my shell, but you stopped calling. You stopped answering. I felt ashamed for even trying. I felt embarrassed for even trying to flirt with you. I felt heart broken like I do right now. You disappeared without a trace. I thought and still think it was because of me,” I say facing a different direction from where Ayden is. I can’t stare into his beautiful eyes that take me away every time I look into them right now as I pour my heart out to him.
        “Stacie…” He places a hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off.
        “Duncan told me you liked me. He asked if I liked you back. I thought it was you who told him to ask me this. I so badly wanted to say yes, but I was too afraid. I let my fears get the best of me, and I told him no. I’ve regretted it ever since. Once that word came out my mouth, I’ve wanted to go back in time to change it. I always have had the hardest time expressing my feelings,” I admit blushing, avoiding gazing into Ayden’s curious eyes. I wonder what his response will be. What will he think?
        “Stacie. Stacie look at me. Please look at me.” I bite my lip nervously in habit. I take a quick look at him before looking away hastily. All of a second, I see Ayden kneeling down gazing into my eyes. He grabs my hands. I begin to look away, but he stops me. “Wait! Stacie, I like you too. I’ve liked you the minute that week began. The moment I saw you I fell in love. I was mesmerized. I had to get to know you. I needed to be your friend; hopefully, I would become something more if you got to know me. I know you never really liked me before that. To tell you the truth, I never really paid attention to Duncan’s friends, so I can‘t exactly say I liked you before then either. I liked you during that week though. As soon as I started getting to know you, I didn’t know why you were talking to me. You were so beautiful and funny. You had the best laugh and your smile made me melt inside. I could be myself around you. I can’t do that with many people. People always expect me to be the person they want, so I do. No matter how much I might hate it, I pretend to be their ideal person. You had the greatest personality and were so beautiful. All these years, nothing has changed.”
        How could I be so lucky to have two people tell me such great things a few days apart? A huge smile replaces the frown that once lived upon my lips. What should I do? I love Alex, but I still love Ayden. Alex just broke up with me though. I’m a free woman now to do as I please, but I‘m confused. What if Alex wants to get back together? What shall I do then? I’ve been waiting for Ayden for four years. Why does love have to be so difficult?
        “Do you really mean all of those things you said?”
        “Of course. Why would I say them if I didn’t mean them?” Ayden asks confused.
        “To get me to like you again just so you can use me.” I frown staring at Ayden letting my eyes peer into his soul. He frowns too. Why is he frowning?
        “I would never use you. You don’t deserve to be used. No one does. I’ve been used before, and it’s not a fun thing to experience. I’ve endured so many bad relationships. Now, I have the highest respect for my relationships. I would never treat one of my girlfriends like I’ve been treated. It’s a cruel punishment to bestow upon them.”
        What should I do? I’ve asked what I needed to and have gotten my answers. This only made it harder for me. I must go with my heart. Alex broke up with me. I’m single once again. This could be my only chance. I remained single my whole life until Alex. If I don’t take this opportunity, I might never have another chance to feel loved and all the wonderful things of being in a relationship. I’m sorry Alex. I love you, but I’ve loved Ayden longer. I’m torn on what I should do. I need to make a decision, but I don’t know if I can. Should I go for Ayden, or should I wait for Alex hoping he’ll take me back? Help me Ocean. I need your help to guide me with this decision.