Going Mad
Dear Dairy,Celest went to her grandmother's house this weekend, so I'm all alone. It's been forever since I wrote in this little book of mine. I'm still getting bullied, which sucks. Celest and me are in the same school now, she's in 6th grade now.
Dear Dairy,
I got a cut from this girl today, same bullying girls and boys as always. She threw a stick at me and it cut my arm. It actually felt, good.
Dear Dairy,
God I have no idea what I'm doing. The scratch from the stick is healing, but... I made another cut, it felt good. Maybe what those girls were saying was true. I'm a freak, a misfit, a stupid slut, a b*tch, all of those things. They're true! There's no way out now, I'm exactly what they told me to be. These cuts make me feel like I have some control at least.
Dear Dairy,
It's been a few days since the first cut was made. I've made some more since then. What would Celest think of me if she found out I was cutting myself? Would she not be my friend anymore? Would she be disgusted by me like all of the other kids at my school? She can't find out, I know! I'll just smile like I do everyday!
Dear Dairy,
Am I going mad? Or does everyone cry like this? Even as I'm writing this I can't stop crying. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference from my tears to the blood
Dear Dairy,
Why does everyone hate me? I've done NOTHING TO THEM!! Why must I be the one to suffer? I WANT TO DIE!!
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