Clempatibility

Clempatibility

One day at work I was asked "Is there some sort of quiz or application to date you? What's on it?" Well I love a good challenge so here it is. Ever wondered if you were clempatible? Chances are you aren't!

published on June 25, 2019
1/7

When you retire, where will you retire to?

When you retire, where will you retire to?
The big city. Let the lights move around you and the hum of success.
The Forest. Humble yet quiet
The Ocean. Where there will be more things wet than just the sea...
I'm never retiring. That's for chumps.
2/7

If you were the main protein on a plate what would you be?

If you were the main protein on a plate what would you be?
Steak. There's nothing that says "big dick energy" more than a hunk of throbbing flesh.
Tofu. You're lean and healthy and are aware of your surroundings at all...squirrel!
Fish. You figured because I like water signs you could dig in on a this plate and swim in the depths of Clem.
Chicken. Everybody likes chicken right? Thats a thing right?
3/7

Your go to drink.

Your go to drink.
Beer. I woke up with this face and I stay with this face.
Wine. I jazz up life every now again with sadness.
Cider. My pinky is out and my chest proudly puffed like a spring chicken.
Liquor. Girl, I'm trying to get messed up and then felt up..you know what I mean.
4/7

You've got us tickets for the "big game". What sport is it for?

You've got us tickets for the "big game". What sport is it for?
Football. Nothing like a bunch of men grunting on top of each other.
Basketball. It's the sport where people want to touch each others privates but can't.
Baseball. No reason to touch...just run
Hockey. The more fighting and touching the better.
5/7

Which Sesame Street character do you connect with most?

Big Bird. You're the momma of the group and sort of hold the team together.
Ernie. I'm so cute. Look at how cute and simple I am. Damn...I'm cute
Elmo. I'm annoying as fruck but I hold my own. People can't seem to get enough of me.
Oscar The Grouch. If you could sit down. Shut up. Then count the "frucks" I don't give that'd be great.
6/7

It's our day off together. What do we do?

It's our day off together. What do we do?
Go on a hike! The outdoors is good for the pores.
Stay inside. The bed's here and all of the food. Why would we leave?
Go to the movies. Remember that time we waited until it came out on netflix...yea me neither
Not do anything together. It's cool. I just wanna read a book or make a quiz so other people can date me.
7/7

Quick! I'm sick....save me

You need to go to the hospital. Then you need to drink a lot of fluids and eat your meals.
Here is a blanket and your favorite movie. Have some chicken soup and a gatorade.
You're fine get up. I saw you twerking in the mirror last night just to make sure you could do it.
Do you want these pills or not? I mean I'm a high level pharmacist at this point.