"Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, See More I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word,' comfortable'."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.""
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, See More I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word,' comfortable'."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.""
on April 25, 2015
"On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room.
But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.' I'll be right back and we'll go eat,' she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.
As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big... very big... See More an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered, and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind, but knew they surely did; her hesitation about joining them on the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased. The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.
'My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed' Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then ...one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down on her.
But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.' I'll be right back and we'll go eat,' she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.
As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big... very big... See More an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered, and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind, but knew they surely did; her hesitation about joining them on the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased. The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.
'My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed' Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then ...one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down on her.
Take my money and spare me, she prayed.
More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, 'Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button.'
The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down See More to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. 'When I told my man here to hit the floor,' said the average sized one, 'I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.' He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
She thought: 'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.' She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say.
More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, 'Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button.'
The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down See More to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. 'When I told my man here to hit the floor,' said the average sized one, 'I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.' He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
She thought: 'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.' She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say.
on April 25, 2015
The 3 of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor, they insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter See More while they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.
The next morning flowers were delivered to her room-a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill. The card said: 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years'
It was signed,
Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan"
The next morning flowers were delivered to her room-a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill. The card said: 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years'
It was signed,
Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan"
on April 25, 2015
on April 25, 2015
Casual chat as Grover :3
This is a conversation between Annabeth Chase and yourself, Grover Underwood.
Grover Underwood: Oh Hey Annabeth!
Annabeth Chase: Hey Grover!
Grover Underwood: Want to go to the archery range?
Annabeth Chase: Sure
Grover Underwood: *walks to archery range* So how are things going between you and percy? See More
Annabeth Chase: Great, did you know I actually convinced him to go to college?
Grover Underwood: Percy?! Noooo.. I could never see that dude going to college
Annabeth Chase: Yeah, this fall. He's studying marine biology and I'm studying architecture
Grover Underwood: You guys always go places without me... except for quests.
Annabeth Chase: You could probably get accepted still
Grover Underwood: Maybe... what should I study?
Annabeth Chase: Something about the environment. You could get a bunch of jobs helping preserve nature if you have a degree
Grover Underwood: I'd bet Pan would want me to, I wish he didn't have to fade..................
Annabeth Chase: Yeah... That was sad
Grover Underwood: *grabs a bow and a quiver of arrows* So do you have any plans on Daedalus' laptop he gave you?
Annabeth Chase: I did... But that unfortunately got lost... In the fall...
Grover Underwood: I lost my reed pipe just a few days ago
Annabeth Chase: Oh that's too bad. Could you get any other ones?
Grover Underwood: Get some? I would have to make them on my own
Annabeth Chase: That's kinda what I meant
Grover Underwood: Oh, well they can be hard to make but I still can, *puts bow and quiver back and starts making a reed pipe*
Annabeth Chase: That's good
Grover Underwood: *quietly making the pipe* Do you happen to have any empty soda cans?
Annabeth Chase: I do, somewhere in my cabin
Grover Underwood: Im guessing they are in the trash can.. cause I know you Athena kids aren't messy, but still not as clean as the Aphrodite girls
Annabeth Chase: Yeah, probably. I might have a few outside of that though
You've left the conversation.
This is a conversation between Annabeth Chase and yourself, Grover Underwood.
Grover Underwood: Oh Hey Annabeth!
Annabeth Chase: Hey Grover!
Grover Underwood: Want to go to the archery range?
Annabeth Chase: Sure
Grover Underwood: *walks to archery range* So how are things going between you and percy? See More
Annabeth Chase: Great, did you know I actually convinced him to go to college?
Grover Underwood: Percy?! Noooo.. I could never see that dude going to college
Annabeth Chase: Yeah, this fall. He's studying marine biology and I'm studying architecture
Grover Underwood: You guys always go places without me... except for quests.
Annabeth Chase: You could probably get accepted still
Grover Underwood: Maybe... what should I study?
Annabeth Chase: Something about the environment. You could get a bunch of jobs helping preserve nature if you have a degree
Grover Underwood: I'd bet Pan would want me to, I wish he didn't have to fade..................
Annabeth Chase: Yeah... That was sad
Grover Underwood: *grabs a bow and a quiver of arrows* So do you have any plans on Daedalus' laptop he gave you?
Annabeth Chase: I did... But that unfortunately got lost... In the fall...
Grover Underwood: I lost my reed pipe just a few days ago
Annabeth Chase: Oh that's too bad. Could you get any other ones?
Grover Underwood: Get some? I would have to make them on my own
Annabeth Chase: That's kinda what I meant
Grover Underwood: Oh, well they can be hard to make but I still can, *puts bow and quiver back and starts making a reed pipe*
Annabeth Chase: That's good
Grover Underwood: *quietly making the pipe* Do you happen to have any empty soda cans?
Annabeth Chase: I do, somewhere in my cabin
Grover Underwood: Im guessing they are in the trash can.. cause I know you Athena kids aren't messy, but still not as clean as the Aphrodite girls
Annabeth Chase: Yeah, probably. I might have a few outside of that though
You've left the conversation.
on April 25, 2015
![[MMD] Frozen KIDS Thriller! [Dancing Episode 1]](/imret/spp/2AfpYz.jpg?w=300&h=300&sc=1 "[MMD] Frozen KIDS Thriller! [Dancing Episode 1]")
[MMD] Frozen KIDS Thriller! [Dancing Episode 1]
next mmd (The Fox Frozen Kids!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SHXOg3bjS4 previous mmd (Frozen - Bad MV): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpaJNKwIbJ4 NOTE...
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 24, 2015
on April 20, 2015
This is something that happened at a camp a few days ago and I thought it was rather funny...
Person 1: Are your thoughts dark?
Person 2: No they're gray.
Group: *laughing*
So in conclusion Person 2 has neither dark thoughts nor light thoughts but gray thoughts. In the middle. :D
Person 1: Are your thoughts dark?
Person 2: No they're gray.
Group: *laughing*
So in conclusion Person 2 has neither dark thoughts nor light thoughts but gray thoughts. In the middle. :D
on April 20, 2015
Sketch Toy: Draw sketches and share replays with friends!
Draw sketches and share replays with friends!
on April 19, 2015
An image on imgfave
A fun image sharing community. Explore amazing art and photography and share your own visual inspiration!
on April 19, 2015
My favorites that I want to try are marked:
Pygmy Puffs ~~
Pygmy Paint
Pet Rock
Shield Cloak ~~
Shield Gloves ~~
Daydream Charms See More
SuLices
Self-Sufficient Candles
Self-Sufficient Lantern
Headless Hats ~~
Ever-Bashing Boomerangs
Reusable Hangman ~~
Basic Blaze Box
Self-Shuffling Playing Cards
Instant Darkness Powder
Skiving Snackbox ~~
Ton Tongue Toffees ~~
Dragonbombs
Fake Wands ~~
Screaming Yo-Yo
U-No-Poo
Extendible Ears ~~
Half Price Joke Books
Canary Cream Custards
Muggle Magic Tricks
Portable Swamp ~~
Edible Dark Marks ~~
Farcical Foam
Foul Fowl
Bubble Ducky
WonderWitch Love Potion #10
WonderWitch Morphing Goop
WonderWitch Pimple Vanisher
Punching Spyglass ~~
Deflagration Deluxe
Grow Your Own Warts Kit
Decoy Detonator
Trick Toothbrushes
Weasley Quills ~~
Grow Your Own Furniture Kit
Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray ~~
Pygmy Puffs ~~
Pygmy Paint
Pet Rock
Shield Cloak ~~
Shield Gloves ~~
Daydream Charms See More
SuLices
Self-Sufficient Candles
Self-Sufficient Lantern
Headless Hats ~~
Ever-Bashing Boomerangs
Reusable Hangman ~~
Basic Blaze Box
Self-Shuffling Playing Cards
Instant Darkness Powder
Skiving Snackbox ~~
Ton Tongue Toffees ~~
Dragonbombs
Fake Wands ~~
Screaming Yo-Yo
U-No-Poo
Extendible Ears ~~
Half Price Joke Books
Canary Cream Custards
Muggle Magic Tricks
Portable Swamp ~~
Edible Dark Marks ~~
Farcical Foam
Foul Fowl
Bubble Ducky
WonderWitch Love Potion #10
WonderWitch Morphing Goop
WonderWitch Pimple Vanisher
Punching Spyglass ~~
Deflagration Deluxe
Grow Your Own Warts Kit
Decoy Detonator
Trick Toothbrushes
Weasley Quills ~~
Grow Your Own Furniture Kit
Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray ~~
on April 19, 2015
Question: What is 1 teacup times 1 cake plus the square of a cherry pie?
Work:
1 teacup times 1 cake plus the square of a cherry pie
1 teacup times 1 cake = 1 cupcakes
square of a cherry pie = 2 cherries
1 cupcake plus 2 cherries = 3 cherry cupcakes
1 teacup times 1 cake plus the square of a cherry pie
1 teacup times 1 cake = 1 cupcakes
square of a cherry pie = 2 cherries
1 cupcake plus 2 cherries = 3 cherry cupcakes
on April 19, 2015
on April 19, 2015
I feel like there is blood dripping down my head.... cause I keep pouring a bit of water on my head...... OwO
on April 19, 2015
https://scontent-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10313412_703800713063356_399077389144994424_n.jpg?oh=08a141bf32f76baa33e4f401336062cc&oe=55A8A5B8
Probably die of laughter...... xD @Tori_Swan
Probably die of laughter...... xD @Tori_Swan
on April 19, 2015
Come For The Bull