Momma said soon we may go to Cali to see some family!
Queenofshadows
It ain't a garantee
on June 12, 2019
on June 12, 2019
I just got back from puking my guts out
on June 12, 2019
I'm just gonna miss here a bit.... Tw because some may get triggered
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Okay so... I just realized my bff is goin through what I went through last year multiple people liking you and no matter what you do you can't please someone... I just hate that I feel in such a way and then the past year and a half I went through hell and only four people know about the constant hell over something that happened and My own sister blaming it for me and I'm sorry if this makes no sense but I can't do this anymore I tried so many times to die and every time someone saved my damn life... Why I do not know but for some damn reason they actually cared enough to save me... I been through the system and back home multiple times and I'm stressed out because what if I run into my abuser again he hasn't left Colorado and I wanna be far away from his ugly mug for hurting me and my sibling I wish I could twist them and make them pay for what they did! But the only way I can figure out how is if I stay armed and in my room at all times he shouldn't have talked to our mom loudly about sex with kids trying to sleep he shouldn't have hit me with a belt and sent me away to live with people who are extremely unstable. He shouldn't have mety mom he shouldn't have come near me or belle! He shouldn't have taken my small world away that was small enough he shouldn't have caused me to leave my psst school because of an assult he did he attempted so much shit and I'm done I wanna die because of him but I can't because I must prove myself to be a better person than he will ever be. Amber and Lindsey held me down long enough and now that I'm with my mom again I'm locking myself away living in fear I'm sick of it I'm sick of flashbacks of him standing over me, me being helpless enough to tell him to go the freak away!! To leave me the freak alone!! I am sick of people assuming I hate my sister even though she is my sister and I'll love her no matter what the hell happens to us!! I'm sick of those close just recently telling me who died and if they were close I'm sick of it!!
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. See More
.
..
.
.
.
Okay so... I just realized my bff is goin through what I went through last year multiple people liking you and no matter what you do you can't please someone... I just hate that I feel in such a way and then the past year and a half I went through hell and only four people know about the constant hell over something that happened and My own sister blaming it for me and I'm sorry if this makes no sense but I can't do this anymore I tried so many times to die and every time someone saved my damn life... Why I do not know but for some damn reason they actually cared enough to save me... I been through the system and back home multiple times and I'm stressed out because what if I run into my abuser again he hasn't left Colorado and I wanna be far away from his ugly mug for hurting me and my sibling I wish I could twist them and make them pay for what they did! But the only way I can figure out how is if I stay armed and in my room at all times he shouldn't have talked to our mom loudly about sex with kids trying to sleep he shouldn't have hit me with a belt and sent me away to live with people who are extremely unstable. He shouldn't have mety mom he shouldn't have come near me or belle! He shouldn't have taken my small world away that was small enough he shouldn't have caused me to leave my psst school because of an assult he did he attempted so much shit and I'm done I wanna die because of him but I can't because I must prove myself to be a better person than he will ever be. Amber and Lindsey held me down long enough and now that I'm with my mom again I'm locking myself away living in fear I'm sick of it I'm sick of flashbacks of him standing over me, me being helpless enough to tell him to go the freak away!! To leave me the freak alone!! I am sick of people assuming I hate my sister even though she is my sister and I'll love her no matter what the hell happens to us!! I'm sick of those close just recently telling me who died and if they were close I'm sick of it!!
on June 11, 2019
